Yo Adrian! Trump's Megabill Fightin' For Survival in the House!

Gonna Fly Now? More Like Gonna Stall Now!

Listen Adrian this whole thing with Trump's megabill is givin' me flashbacks to Apollo Creed always movin' always jabbin'. These House Republicans they're like me in the first round – takin' a beatin'. They're stuck in a stalemate see? More than a dozen of 'em are diggin' in their heels like I used to dig in my boots at Mighty Mick's gym. They ain't happy with this tax and spending package and the whole thing's lookin' as uncertain as my chances with Adrian back in '76.

Johnson's Corner: Can He Win This Round?

House Speaker Mike Johnson he's tryin' to be like Mickey tryin' to motivate these guys. He's been workin' the phones talkin' to these holdouts hopin' to get 'em on board. He told reporters he was hopin' to 'get this done.' But this ain't like chasin' chickens Adrian. This is politics and politics is a whole different beast. It's like tryin' to herd cats...or maybe greased lightning!

Yo Ralphie! What's Your Beef?

This Ralph Norman fella from South Carolina he's bein' a real pain in the neck. He says he's got 'problems with all this bill.' He's givin' Johnson the stink eye. He wants his questions answered or he's gonna vote it down and send it back. Sounds like he needs a good run up those museum steps ya know? Maybe some shadow boxing to clear his head. 'Cause right now he's about as clear as a bowl of linguini.

The Massie Offensive

And then there's this Thomas Massie from Kentucky. He said there were 'probably 10 NO's at the moment.' Ten! That's like ten Apollo Creeds in the ring at once! Massie voted against Trump's bill back in May before the Senate messed with it. Now they're all makin' Johnson sweat more than I sweated in that meat locker. But hey at least Davidson is sayin' 'yes' this time he seems to have wised up.

Trump Steps In: Eye of the Tiger?

Now Trump himself is tryin' to be like me in *Rocky IV* pullin' out all the stops. He's got Russ Vought from the White House Office of Management and Budget runnin' around Capitol Hill talkin' to the holdouts. Trump had a whole bunch of these Republicans over to the White House earlier in the day tryin' to smooth things over. He's tryin' to be the peacemaker but sometimes you gotta ask yourself "Is that the way you wanna live?"

The Clock's Tickin': Fourth of July Showdown?

They gotta approve the rules for the debate before they can even debate the bill see? And these moderate Republicans are gettin' all worked up about the cuts to Medicaid. Those cuts are deeper than the ones the House passed originally! This is givin' Johnson a headache 'cause if they make any last minute changes it's gotta go back to the Senate. And that means they're gonna miss that July 4th deadline. This whole thing is messier than a cheesesteak wit' extra whiz Adrian. But you know what I always say 'It ain't about how hard you can hit but about how hard you can get hit and keep movin' forward.'