Believe It! Trump's Tariffs Just Did a Shadow Clone Jutsu... on Your Phone!

Dattebayo! A Tariff Tsunami!

Hey it's me Naruto Uzumaki future Hokage and apparently now a financial analyst? Believe it! So this whole tariff thing? Apparently ol' President Trump – not as scary as Orochimaru but still – slapped some HUGE tariffs on stuff from China. Like 145% HUGE! I was worried. I mean even my ramen budget would've taken a hit! Hinata would've had to knit me new socks out of old ramen wrappers dattebayo!

Apple's Great Escape: A Jutsu of Relief!

Turns out this almost turned into a real mess for Apple you know the guys who make the fancy scroll readers (iPhones). Almost ALL their stuff is made in China! It was like putting them in a Genjutsu! But then BAM! Like a well timed Substitution Jutsu the U.S. Customs and Border Protection stepped in and said 'Nah smartphones and computers get a pass!' Whew! That was close. I was almost about to start a Ninja Way to save Apple.

Tech Giants Say 'Thank You Hokage!' (Not Really But They Should!)

This dude Dan Ives (no relation to Iruka sensei I checked) from Wedbush Securities said it was a 'game changer'! Like seriously? A game changer?! That's almost as cool as learning the Rasengan! Apparently all those CEO types were sweating bullets because this would've been 'Armageddon' for them. I'm not sure what Armageddon is but it sounds worse than losing a game of Rock Paper Scissors to Sakura!

A Market Value Vanishing Act!

Before this whole exemption thing Apple LOST like 640 billion dollars! That's more money than it would cost to buy ALL the ramen in Ichiraku's... forever! It was like watching Kurama get sucked back into my belly but in reverse! So yeah this was kinda a big deal.

The White House Listens? Believe It!

So it sounds like the big bosses at these tech companies actually got through to the White House. Maybe they used some fancy talk no jutsu or maybe they just threatened to stop making phones. Either way it worked! Shows you even the most stubborn folks can be convinced just like how I eventually convinced everyone I'd be Hokage!

No More Ramen less Nights! (For Now)

So the moral of the story? Don't mess with people's scroll readers (smartphones)! And maybe just maybe the world isn't as crazy as it seems. For now at least I can still afford my ramen. And that my friends is a victory worth celebrating! Dattebayo!