Believe It! Purse-Snatching Shenanigans: Even Homeland Security Chiefs Aren't Safe From These Sneaky Ninjas!

Dattebayo! A Crime Spree in the Capital!

Hey everyone Naruto Uzumaki here reporting for duty! Believe it! So there's this dude Mario Bustamente Leiva right? He's been pulling off some seriously sneaky moves in Washington D.C. like a real life Zabuza in the Mist! Seems he's been snagging purses left and right and guess who one of his victims was? None other than the Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem! Even with Secret Service protection this guy managed to swipe her purse. Talk about a shadow clone jutsu of thievery! This whole case smells fishier than Ichiraku Ramen after a week in the sun!

Secret Service vs. The Master of Disguise (Not Me Sadly)!

The Secret Service is all over this like Shikamaru strategizing a mission! They say this Leiva guy who's apparently not even supposed to be in the country pulled off three thefts in just over a week! That's faster than I can eat a bowl of ramen! They've charged him with robbery wire fraud and even aggravated identity theft. Talk about a triple threat! It's like facing the Sand Siblings all at once!

The Case of the Missing Purse and the Midnight Ramen Run!

So get this: after allegedly snatching Secretary Noem's purse this Leiva guy used her credit cards to buy... wait for it... food and alcohol at an Italian restaurant! Dude spent over $200! I bet he didn't even leave a tip! That's almost as bad as Orochimaru betraying the Leaf Village! And apparently Noem had like $3,000 in cash in her purse! What is she a Hokage with a secret stash of allowance money?!

Motel Mayhem and Boozy Confessions!

The Secret Service finally caught up with Leiva at a motel. Inside they found Noem's purse and wallet some cash and even clothes that matched what he wore during the robberies! It's like they found his Akatsuki cloak of crime! When they questioned him he claimed he was an alcoholic and had memory issues but he did admit to stealing Noem's bag. Classic 'blame it on the sake' move!

Restaurant Recon: An Arm's Reach Away From Disaster!

The surveillance video is wild! It shows Leiva sitting right next to Secretary Noem at Capital Burger like he's trying to learn her secret jutsu! Then *bam* he uses his leg and jacket to swipe the purse. Seriously this guy's got moves! I bet he could even dodge Sakura's punch... maybe. This is one of the most stealthy ninja tactics I have ever seen even better than mine!

From Nando's to Safeway: A Thief's Shopping Spree!

Turns out Leiva wasn't working alone! He had a partner in crime for at least one of the thefts. They were caught on camera at Nando's Safeway and even a Motel 6! It's like a criminal version of Team 7 except instead of saving the world they're buying gift cards and wine. I bet Kakashi sensei would be so disappointed and then again he is always late so maybe he would not be. Dattebayo this is a crazy story and needs to be solved fast!