Believe It! Israel and Iran Throwing Down! Is This the Real Ninja War?

Dattebayo! Explosions Everywhere!

Okay okay calm down everyone! Naruto Uzumaki here reporting live from… well not the battlefield! I'm not stupid enough to run headfirst into danger like some… other ninja I know! But seriously things are getting intense between Israel and Iran. Seems like they're throwing down harder than me and Sasuke after a disagreement about ramen flavors! Apparently Israel launched a bunch of airstrikes in Iran for like three days straight! Boom! Pow! Kablam! And now everyone's talking about nukes. Seriously? Can't we all just get along and share some Ichiraku ramen? Believe it!

Trump's Veto?! Talk About a Shadow Clone Jutsu of Politics!

So get this! The news says that U.S. President Donald Trump apparently vetoed a plan by Israel to uh… *ahem*… take out Iran's Supreme Leader. Wow even I think that's a bit much! That's like trying to Rasengan Kageyama's head no way! I mean come on world leaders let's try talking this out first. Maybe we can find a compromise over a bowl of miso soup. You know like how I convinced Nagato to give up on his plan for world peace through pain? Believe me talking works better than fighting! Unless of course we're talking about a friendly spar. Then bring it on!

Oil Refineries?! This is Worse Than Running Out of Ramen!

The article goes on to say that Israel is hitting oil refineries in Iran. Oil refineries folks! That's almost as bad as running out of ramen! I mean seriously messing with a country's energy supply is like… like taking away my ability to use the Rasengan! It's a vital resource! Plus if the fighting keeps going it could mess with the whole world's markets! That's gonna make ramen prices go up! No way I gotta stop this somehow.

Evacuate Arms Factories?! Sounds Like a Job for Shadow Clones!

Apparently Israel is warning Iranians to evacuate arms factories. Evacuate arms factories? Sounds like someone's planning a *big* boom! This is getting way too serious. I'm starting to think I need to summon a thousand shadow clones and try to talk some sense into everyone. Maybe if I can convince them to stop fighting we can all go out for dango! Dattebayo!

Missiles Flying?! Time to Use My Wind Style Rasenshuriken!

The news says that Iran has fired over 270 missiles! 270! That's like… like a thousand Chidoris coming at you at once! Luckily Israel has some pretty good air defenses but still some of those missiles got through. People are getting hurt and buildings are getting destroyed on both sides. This isn't just a fight between countries anymore; it's hurting innocent people! It's time for the Hero to show up and settle this once and for all!

Nuclear Talks?! Can't We All Just Talk It Out Like Real Ninjas?

And to make matters worse the article mentions that planned talks about Iran's nuclear program have been canceled! Canceled?! What kind of Hokage level leadership is that?! Talking is the only way to solve problems! We need to get everyone back to the table share some tea and figure this out like real ninjas! Believe it! Or else I just might have to unleash my Tailed Beast Mode. Nobody wants to see that... Except maybe Sasuke.