OMG! Trump Thinks Canada's a Freeloading BFF...Like, What?

Like He Said What?!

Okay so like I woke up this morning and saw all this drama with President Trump and Canada. Apparently he's tweeting about how Canada is basically living off the US like a freeloader. He said we're 'subsidizing Canada by $200 Billion Dollars a year'! I was like 'Goals!' but also 'Is that even real?' I mean $200 billion could buy a LOT of lip kits and maybe like a small island. It's giving Kris Jenner 'This is a case for the FBI' energy ya know?

Free Military Protection? Is That a Thing?

Apparently part of Trump's beef is that we're giving Canada 'FREE Military Protection.' Like is that even a service? Can I get that for Stormi? Because protecting a billionaire baby from the paparazzi is serious business. TBH I thought we were all about building walls not like being a global bodyguard. I'm so confused. Is this my wig? Is this my real hair?

No Cars No Energy No Lumber...No Chill?

Trump was like 'We don't need their Cars we don't need their Energy we don't need their Lumber we don't need ANYTHING they have!' Okay first of all who doesn't need energy? Especially if you're trying to keep up with the Kardashians. And lumber? Hello building my mansion? Seriously though that's pretty harsh. It's like saying you don't need your bestie and that's just cold. Like winter in Calabasas cold.

Prime Minister Came to Play

So Prime Minister Mark Carney is coming to the White House. Trump's like 'He's coming to see me. I'm not sure what he wants to see me about but I guess he wants to make a deal. Everybody does.' I mean everyone DOES want a piece of the Kylie Cosmetics pie but like is this about lip gloss or like world domination. Who knows! I swear politics is more complicated than trying to match my lip liner to my lipstick.

Economic Leech? Rude!

And then this Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick dude called Canada an 'economic leech.' Like seriously? That's not very PC even for politics. It's giving total Regina George vibes: 'Stop trying to make fetch happen.' Like let's all just be friends and share contouring tips okay?

Can't We All Just Get Along...And Trade?

So basically Canada and the US trade a LOT. Like more than anyone except Mexico. But Trump's tariffs are messing everything up. Honestly this whole thing is just a hot mess. Can't we all just get along? Maybe if Trump tried some of my lip kits he'd chill out. Just saying. This is my 2024 campaign platform: more lip kits less trade wars.