Farquaad's Fortune! Trump's Troop Tango Costs a King's Ransom!

Hold the Onions! A Whopping $134 Million?!

Alright alright alright! Donkey here reporting live from... well not Los Angeles because frankly traffic. But guess what I heard through the grapevine? Or should I say the ogre vine? Turns out sending the National Guard and Marines to deal with those immigration enforcement protests is gonna cost more than all the waffles in Duloc! We're talking about a king's ransom – a whopping $134 million! That's enough to make even Dragon blush. I mean seriously couldn't they just send Shrek? He's good at scaring people... and calming them down sometimes.

Housing Grub and Travel: Oh My!

So where's all that moolah going? According to some fancy pants Pentagon official named Bryn Woollacott MacDonnell (try saying that five times fast!) it's mostly for housing travel and food for the troops. Food! I bet they're not getting my famous parfait. Layers! Everyone loves layers! Probably just dry boring rations. No wonder they need cheering up. Maybe I should start a waffle delivery service to Los Angeles? "Waffles get your hot waffles here! Guaranteed to make even the toughest Marine crack a smile!"

Pete's Piece: Defending the Dough!

And then there's this Defense Secretary fella Pete Hegseth. He's all like "Every American citizen deserves to live in a community that's safe and ICE agents need to be able to do their job!" Well duh! Nobody wants to live in a swamp filled with angry pitchfork wielding villagers. But $134 million? That's a whole lotta swamp! Maybe we could use that money to build a giant trampoline instead. Everyone would be safe AND happy. Just a thought.

60 Days of Soldiers: Is It Worth It?

So these troops are gonna be hanging around for 60 days. Sixty days! That's like a whole two months! I wonder if they have karaoke night? I could teach them a thing or two about singing. "I'm all alone there's no one here beside me..." Nah scratch that. Too depressing. Maybe something more upbeat? Like "On the road again!" Or "Holding out for a hero!" Yeah that's the ticket!

Operation & Maintenance: More Like Operation Overspending!

Apparently all this is being funded by something called the "Operation & Maintenance accounts." Sounds fancy right? More like Operation Overspending if you ask me! They should call it Operation Send Donkey to Negotiate. I'm a master negotiator you know. I once talked a dragon out of eating me. That's gotta count for something!

So What's the Moral of the Story?

The moral of the story folks is that things cost money. Even protecting our swamp… I mean country. But maybe just maybe there are cheaper funnier and more donkey approved ways to solve problems. Just saying! Now if you'll excuse me I'm gonna go find Shrek and see if he wants to split a waffle. Layers! Remember the layers!