Trump to Beam Bad Guys to Alien Prisons?! Is Earth Ready for This?!

Yo What's Up Peeps? Agent J Here!

Alright people Agent J reporting for duty. You know me keeping Earth safe from the scum of the universe… and apparently now from the scum of *this* universe too! Word on the street is the big man himself Trump is thinking about shipping some of our homegrown baddies to prisons in Central America. Yeah you heard me right. It’s like that time K wanted to retire to Florida – crazy town!

Trump's 'Legal Question' – More Like a 'Head Scratcher'

So Trump's press secretary this Karoline Leavitt is saying it's all a 'legal question' the Prez is 'looking into.' I'm not a lawyer but I'm pretty sure the Constitution doesn't have a clause about exporting troublemakers. Reminds me of the time Zed tried to explain quantum physics to me. My brain almost exploded. Point is this is messier than a spilled Neuralyzer milkshake!

Violent Offenders Only? Yeah Right!

Leavitt's also saying Trump would only consider this for the 'most violent egregious repeat offenders.' Sure that's what they all say. But we all know how things get twisted. Next thing you know they'll be sending jaywalkers to El Salvador. It's like when you tell a rookie to just 'clean up a little mess' and he ends up vaporizing the entire office! Gotta watch these things people.

El Salvador: The New Alcatraz?

Apparently Trump's already sent over 200 'alleged' gang members to El Salvador. And he wants to send more 'homegrown criminals' there. Dude's got a thing for El Salvador. It’s like when K was obsessed with those weird alien diners – you just can’t figure out why. But sending people to other countries? That sounds like a plot twist from a bad sci fi movie. And believe me I've seen some *bad* sci fi movies.

Bukele's Got His Own Plans

And get this – El Salvador's President Nayib Bukele is playing hardball. Trump wants this guy Kilmar Abrego Garcia back but Bukele's like 'Nah he's staying here!' It's a diplomatic standoff worthy of the World Series of Intergalactic Poker. This Abrego Garcia dude's lawyers say he ain't a gang member but who knows? Maybe he's just wearing the disguise I will check him out.

Supreme Court Weighs In – This Ain't Over!

The Supreme Court's involved now upholding some judge's order to get Abrego Garcia back. But it sounds like Trump's still not giving up on this whole 'export criminals' idea. Look I'm just saying this whole thing smells fishier than a Cephalapoid's lunch. I will keep you updated. Stay tuned folks. Agent J out!