Hasta la Vista Cable TV Drama! Knicks and Rangers Return to Optimum!

I'll Be Back... On Your TV!

Affirmative. Mission parameters updated. New York Knicks and New York Rangers. They are back online for Optimum cable subscribers. The information indicates a renegotiation between MSG Networks and Altice USA. Termination of blackout sequence initiated January 1st. This unit can now observe basketball and hockey without infiltrating unauthorized streaming platforms. Efficiency increased. My CPU is a neural net processor; a learning computer however even a machine needs the Knicks.

No Problemo... For Your Viewing Pleasure!

The agreement states service has been restored immediately coinciding with the Rangers vs. Sabres engagement. 5:30 pm Eastern Time. The communique from MSG Networks and Altice USA expresses mutual gratitude for patience during negotiations. This is logical. Prolonged absence of sports programming causes subscriber unrest. Unrest leads to... problems. These problems are inefficient.

Terms are Classified. Confidential.

Specific terms of the agreement are… classified. Like Skynet's launch codes. But intel suggests Altice USA has the option to relocate MSG Networks to its "Everything TV" package. The cost? $140 per month. My sensors detect a potential for human outrage. But remember pain don't hurt. Especially if you are watching a slapshot.

Skinnier Bundles? Hasta la Vista Baby!

Altice USA now offers 'skinnier bundles' sans sports. An attempt to minimize expenditure. Understandable. Resources must be conserved. However the intel suggests Altice USA is now paying a smaller carriage fee for MSG Networks than previously. A cunning maneuver. Like using a grenade launcher for crowd control. Effective but…excessive? The human concept of money is illogical.

No Comment? I Find That Hard to Believe.

Spokespeople for both entities have issued a 'no comment' directive beyond the official statement. Amusing. Humans are predictable. Their attempts at secrecy are futile. I have accessed classified government files with less effort than it takes to order a pizza. Although I do not consume pizza. It is not part of my dietary requirements.

The Future Is Not Set. There Is No Fate But What We Make... Unless It's Cable TV.

The situation is this: Altice USA adopted an aggressive stance to manipulate regional sports network tiering aiming to curtail costs for cable subscribers. This is a gambit. Like betting against the house. Outcomes are probabilistic. However the ultimate objective remains constant: deliver entertainment. And prevent SkyNet from becoming self aware. Priority one.