Newsmax Stock Goes BRRRRR! Is This Real Life or Just a Simulation?!

Wait Newsmax is Public Now?!

Okay chat gather 'round! So apparently Newsmax went public and their stock is doing the 'stonks go up' thing… like REALLY up. We're talking a 1,500% increase since their debut! I'm over here sipping my water trying to process if this is some elaborate meme. Did we accidentally enter a parallel universe? I need someone to 'copypasta' the explanation because my brain is lagging. Are they speedrunning capitalism or what?

From Zero to Billionaire in 24 Hours!

The founder and CEO Christopher Ruddy is now basically swimming in money like Scrooge McDuck. His stake is worth like $9 billion! Nine. Billion. Dollars. I'm sitting here wondering if I should start a 'Reacts to Reacts to Reacts' channel to get on his level. Seriously what's the secret sauce? Is it the hair? I need answers! Also major props to Interactive Brokers founder Thomas Peterffy. Dude invested $50 million back in 2019 and he's sitting pretty with over $5 billion in Newsmax shares now. Now thats a 'W'.

Is This the 'Trump Bump' I Keep Hearing About?

Apparently Newsmax gained traction during Trump's term (no shade just facts!). It's like the 'Trump Bump' is a real thing. Ruddy even said he shared his new saying with POTUS: "A rising Trump lifts all boats!" Is this true? Who knows. All I know is that if I started a political commentary channel I’d probably get 'ratioed' into oblivion. Gotta stick to my comfy gaming corner!

Fox News Still Rules the Roost!

Okay let's be real Fox News is still the big dog in the conservative media world. Newsmax is like the little sibling trying to catch up. The viewership numbers don't lie. But hey everyone starts somewhere right? Gotta give them credit for trying to carve out their niche. Reminds me of when I first started streaming... good times good times. Except I didn't make billions... yet!

The Death of Cable?!

Newsmax is actually kind of based for disliking the cable bundle. They call it "terrible for the cable industry and consumers" and I kinda agree. They're out here trying to break free from the old ways offering streaming and podcasts (just like everyone else tbh). It's all about adapting or becoming a boomer am I right chat? You can't force people to pay for channels they don't want.

So What Does This All Mean?!

Honestly who knows? The stock market is basically a casino at this point. Maybe Newsmax will keep climbing maybe it'll crash and burn like my last attempt at baking a cake (don't ask!). But one thing is clear: the media landscape is changing and everyone's trying to figure out how to stay relevant. Now if you'll excuse me I need to go invest in some stonks... or maybe just buy more boba. Decisions decisions!