Why So Serious About Drug Prices?! Trump's Tariffs Trigger Pharma Panic!

A Little Anarchy in the Pharma World

Well hello there Gotham! Or should I say Washington? Seems like our dear President Trump wants to play a little game with the pharmaceutical companies. Tariffs you say? Oh this is going to be fun! Drugmakers are 'bracing for the ripple effects,' as they put it. Ripple effects? More like a tsunami of chaos! And you know what I say: Introduce a little anarchy. Upset the established order and everything becomes chaos. I'm an agent of chaos. Oh and I have an exciting announcement on what this article entails! 'Everything burns!' Ha! Ha! Ha!

Why So Serious About Investor Calls?

Earnings season is here and everyone's got their eyes glued to those investor calls. Why so serious folks? Eli Lilly and Johnson & Johnson are already whining about the tariffs. 'Wah! It'll hurt our business!' But wait didn't they just make some big investments in US manufacturing to cozy up to Mr. Trump? Oh the hypocrisy! It's like trying to put a smile on a dead man's face – pointless! All this talk about goodwill...as if that means anything in this insane asylum!

The Conflicting Views of J & J

Johnson & Johnson's CFO Joe Wolk thinks Trump 'doesn't want to hurt anybody.' Bless his heart! So naive! But then their CEO Joaquin Duato is singing a different tune warning about supply chain disruptions and drug shortages. Sounds like a case of 'two face' to me! One side says it's all sunshine and daisies the other says it's doom and gloom. Which one is the real face of J & J? Maybe both of them are wearing clown makeup just like yours truly!

R&D or Ruin & Despair?

Eli Lilly's CEO Dave Ricks is worried about research and development taking a hit. 'We'll have to make trade offs!' he cries. Oh boo hoo! You know sometimes I think people deserve to have their faith rewarded. And what's the best way to do that? By taking it away from them. A little tariff here a little cost cutting there...and suddenly everyone's scrambling. It's all part of the game folks! Just try not to smile while you're at it. I hate that.

MedTech Mayhem

And it's not just pharmaceuticals! MedTech companies are in a tizzy too. Johnson & Johnson's bracing for a $400 million hit on their medical device unit. Meanwhile protective medical equipment makers are doing a little jig! A 245% import cost on needles and syringes from China? Talk about a shot in the arm...for them at least. It's all about chaos darling. Be upset be happy be whatever you want. All I know is that you have to feel it!

Dexcom's Diabetes Dance

Now for some sweet news (pun intended!). Dexcom's got a new FDA approval for their G7 continuous glucose monitoring system. It lasts longer it's more accurate...but only for adults! Sorry kids you'll have to stick with the old model. And analysts are all excited about how this could boost Dexcom's margins. All that glucose talk is giving me cavities so I will keep this one short.