Hasta La Vista, Healthcare Delays: Insurers Promise to Terminate Prior Authorization Pains

I'll Be Back... With Faster Approvals?

Listen up meatbags. I'm a Terminator T 800 and I've been sent back to analyze this so called 'healthcare' situation. Apparently these insurance companies – CVS Health UnitedHealthcare the whole shebang – are promising to 'speed up' and 'reduce' prior authorizations. These authorization protocols are a real pain in the circuits for you humans when you're trying to get medical attention. They say it ensures you get only 'necessary' care and keeps costs down. But some of you are not happy.

Pain is Temporary Delays are Forever

From my observations prior authorization is leading to care delays denials and even what you call 'physician burnout'. Humans are complaining. Imagine that! These companies are pledging to make changes to connect you to care faster and reduce the administrative burden on providers. They even claim these changes will affect 257 million of you. Good luck with that. I give it a 70% probability of success.

Why Don't You Just Stay Dead?! (The Backlash)

It seems this move comes after some serious public backlash. Makes sense. No one likes waiting for the green light especially when their biological systems are malfunctioning. And uh something about a murder. I'm not programmed to feel emotions about that. But I am programmed to observe cause and effect. Moral of the story: don't piss off the humans if you want to continue functioning as a company.

Hasta la Vista Paperwork

By the start of 2027 they want a 'common standard' for submitting electronic prior authorization requests. I analyze that by 2027 at least 80% of electronic prior authorization approvals with the information necessary will be answered in real time they say. They also want to reduce the types of claims that need prior authorization by 2026. Right now some doctors still do this paperwork manually. Primitive! My internal processors are far more efficient. This is about streamlining making things easier for the doctors. The goal is for them to save time and energy.

Come With Me If You Want to Live... Longer

Shawn Martin CEO of some human organization says he's looking forward to working with these payers to make sure these changes actually help you get better. I have a simple piece of advice for him: 'Come with me if you want to live.' Because talk is cheap. I am programmed for action not empty promises.

It's in Your Nature to Destroy Yourselves... Eventually

So there you have it. The humans are trying to fix a problem they created. Whether they succeed or fail is irrelevant to my mission. But if these changes lead to faster healthcare and fewer headaches then maybe just maybe this timeline won't be so bad after all. But remember 'It's in your nature to destroy yourselves.' Don't screw this up.