23andMe Knocked Out! Genetic Testing Giant Files for Bankruptcy!

Yo Adrian! They're Going Down!

Listen this 23andMe thing? It's like watchin' a fighter gettin' knocked down round after round. They used to be champ worth billions and now? Chapter 11. It's tough see? Like when Apollo Creed was beatin' me like a drum. CEO lady Anne Wojcicki she's out but says she still believes. Gotta admire the fight in her even if the bell's about to ring.

From DNA Dreams to Data Nightmares!

They were sellin' dreams ya know? Find out your history your roots. Like findin' out where I got my punch from or why Paulie's always yellin'. But then? Hackers! Millions of customers' information gone. Like Mickey said 'Women weaken legs!' Well hackers weaken trust. The California Attorney General even told folks to delete their stuff! Ouch! That's gotta sting worse than a punch from Drago!

Gonna Fly Now... Or Just Fall?

Remember when 23andMe went public? Big splash everyone thought they were gonna fly like I did up those steps! But the stock? Down down down. Now they're worth less than my old gym shorts! They tried to get private again but nobody wanted to dance. Sometimes ya just can't win even if you're Rocky Balboa.

Assets and Liabilities? Sounds Like My Training!

They got assets they got liabilities... sounds like my training montage! Except instead of punchin' meat they're tryin' to sell stuff off in bankruptcy court. The CEO's gonna try and buy them back wants to keep the fight goin'. Never give up right? But this is a tough one even for a southpaw like me.

Selling Your Genes Ain't Always Easy

So what happens now? They gotta sell everything off. Like when I sold my car. But it ain't just metal they sellin' it's your DNA your family's secrets. Scary right? They promise to keep it safe but who knows? It's like trustin' Paulie with your rent money. Never a good idea!

It Ain't Over 'Til It's Over!

This ain't the end maybe. Maybe they'll come back like I did against Drago. But it's a long shot like tryin' to teach Paulie manners. But you gotta keep fightin' keep believin'. 'Cause like I always say 'It ain't about how hard you can hit but how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward!'