Boy! 23andMe Rises from the Ashes Like a Phoenix (or a Very Angry Spartan)

From the Depths of Hades (aka Chapter 11)

Hmph. I have seen empires crumble gods fall and the realms themselves quake before my rage. But this '23andMe'? A company dealing in the blood of mortals reduced to begging for scraps in the underworld of bankruptcy. Wojcicki the woman who once commanded this… venture has crawled from the ashes like I once crawled from the River Styx seeking… redemption? Bah! More likely she seeks control. She's back with this 'TTAM Research Institute.' Another acronym. These mortals and their pointless abbreviations.

Regeneron's Folly: A Titan's Grip Loosened

Regeneron a name that sounds like a beast from Tartarus thought they had claimed their prize. They offered a pittance a mere $256 million for the carcass of 23andMe. Foolish mortals! Did they not learn from the tale of Pandora's Box? This Wojcicki fueled by whatever drives these… entrepreneurs offered $305 million. A sum fit for a god though likely less valuable than a well forged blade. Their bid was not strong enough. Perhaps they should have consulted with a Spartan.

TTAM: The Ghost of 23andMe

TTAM. An acronym for 23andMe. Pathetic. They hide behind letters thinking to deceive fate. But I Kratos see through their charade. Wojcicki claims she wants to continue the mission of 23andMe: to help mortals understand their… genetic soup. Is this truly her desire? Or is it the hunger for power a thirst that can never be quenched? 'I am thrilled,' she proclaims. Bah! Mortals and their flowery language. 'Do not mistake my silence for lack of knowledge.' I know what drives them!.

A Kingdom Built on Spit... and Data Breaches

23andMe rose to prominence by offering mortals a glimpse into their past. They peddled ancestry family history. They became one of CNBC’s 'Disruptor 50'. Disruptors? I was a disruptor when I cleaved the head from Helios! But their lofty ambitions crumbled. They could not sustain their empire and their walls fell. Hackers breached their defenses exposing the secrets of nearly seven million mortals. Privacy? Another illusion. 'The cycle ends here.'...or does it?

The Court's Judgement: A Test of Fate

Now the decision rests with the U.S. Bankruptcy Court. A place where mortals debate the value of failure. Will they approve this acquisition? Will Wojcicki reclaim her kingdom? 'Fate is not a river but a sea.' The currents of fate are strong. This deal still must be validated. Even the Gods were not beyond the influence of the Fates.

Privacy vs. Profit: An Eternal Struggle

The CEO of Regeneron speaks of balancing privacy with research. A noble sentiment perhaps. But these are the concerns of mortals. I have no patience for such debates. 'We must be better than this!' They say. I will be better than this. I will not concern myself with privacy or profit. I will simply watch. And wait. For the moment they attempt to profit from the misery of others... then they will know my fury. 'The gods of Olympus have abandoned me. Now there is no hope!'