Hyrule's Hero Hires Hemi: Stellantis Revs Up with Familiar Faces and Roaring Engines!

A New Hero Rises!

Greetings fellow Hyruleans and gearheads! Your Princess Zelda here reporting live from… well not Hyrule this time. Seems like there's some serious business going down in the world of automobiles and I felt it my royal duty to investigate. Apparently this Stellantis company has a new head honcho Antonio Filosa and he's already shaking things up faster than I can say 'triforce!'

From Retirement to Ram Rod!

Now this Tim Kuniskis fellow he's quite the character. After a brief stint in the Gerudo Desert of retirement (a mere seven months!) he's back and taking on more responsibility than Link facing Ganon with a rusty sword. He's not only steering the Ram brand but now overseeing all American brands and their marketing strategy. Talk about a comeback story worthy of the Hero of Time himself!

SRT: The Band is Back Together!

And hold onto your hats because Stellantis is resurrecting the Street and Racing Technology division or SRT. Apparently they're 'getting the band back together,' and I can't help but wonder if they'll be playing the Song of Time to make these high performance vehicles go even faster. It sounds like a real Kokiri Forest party!

Hemi's Heroic Return!

The most exciting news? The triumphant return of the V 8 Hemi engines for Ram 1500 pickup trucks! Yes you heard right! These powerful engines are roaring back in early 2026 like a Cucco army descending upon a lone adventurer. It's a move that's sure to please gearheads. Finally some good news! I was getting worried they'd all be electric like those weird contraptions the Shiekah make.

The Sales Quest!

Kuniskis is leading a major product launch at Ram with plans to release 25 new products in the next 18 months. Seems they are trying to do anything to stop the sales declines. You know sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do to get a sale.

A Final Thought (and a Terrible Pun)

So it seems Stellantis is making some bold moves bringing back familiar faces resurrecting performance divisions and unleashing the power of the Hemi once again. Will it be enough to conquer the automotive kingdom? Only time will tell. But one thing's for sure: they're definitely shifting into high gear! Sorry I had to make the pun but it was fun. Anyway I'm out of here!