Why So Serious, Hollywood? Trump's Tariff Tantrum Sends Stocks Tumbling!

A Little Anarchy in the Stock Market

Well hello there beautiful people of Gotham or should I say Hollywood? Seems our old pal the orange faced president decided to play a little game. A game of tariffs! A hundred percent tariff on movies made overseas? HA! That's like giving me a box of knives and telling me not to play with them. Predictably the shiny little stocks of Netflix Disney and the rest of the gang took a nosedive. Down down down they go! Like rats fleeing a sinking ship...or maybe just a clown with a really big bomb. And you know what I say? Why so serious?

National Security Threat? More Like National Entertainment!

Trump bless his cotton socks calls foreign tax incentives "a national security threat." A national security threat! As if a bunch of actors pretending to be superheroes is going to bring down America. But hey who am I to judge? I once tried to destabilize an entire city with a few drums of gasoline and a really bad plan. Maybe he's just jealous he didn't get a cameo in the next Batman movie. I wonder...does he know how I got these scars? Probably blames Canada.

The Art of the Deal...Or the Art of the Steal?

So the big question is what part of this whole charade is actually going to be affected? Is it just the movies or TV shows also? And what about the projects already in the can? Nobody knows! It's beautiful isn't it? The uncertainty the chaos! It's like watching a bunch of well dressed penguins trying to solve a Rubik's Cube. Utterly pointless but endlessly amusing. Remember all it takes is a little push! Soon they'll be eating each other!

Why Can't We All Just Get Along? (Said No One Ever)

Oh and here's the kicker! Hollywood relies on those sweet sweet international box office numbers. And now China has already slammed the door shut. Imagine! More countries might follow suit and where does that leave our beloved movie moguls? Probably crying into their diamond encrusted handkerchiefs. But hey at least it’ll be entertaining for the rest of us right? As I've always said introduce a little anarchy. Upset the established order and everything becomes chaos. I'm an agent of chaos.

Digital Delivery? Don't Make Me Laugh!

They claim most projects are shot digitally and easily transferrable. As if avoiding physical tariffs makes the problem go away! The problem my friends is the *principle* of the thing! It's about the power the control the sheer unadulterated madness of it all! It's not about toys or clothing it's about making a statement. A statement that says "I'm in charge and you're all just pawns in my little game!" HA! I LOVE IT!

The Punchline

So what's the moral of the story? Simple: chaos is a ladder. And right now Hollywood is at the bottom scrambling to climb. Me? I'm at the top laughing all the way to the bank. Or maybe just lighting the money on fire for the sheer joy of watching it burn. After all it's not about the money it's about sending a message. And the message is clear: the Joker is always in the house! HAHAHAHAHA!