Why So Serious? Half of You Sheeple Are Walking Around Without Life Insurance!

A World of Sheep: The Statistics Are In!

Well well well what have we here? Seems like a whole lotta you lovely citizens of Gotham I mean America are playing a dangerous game. A new study says nearly HALF of you haven't got a life insurance policy. HA! That's rich! You're all just walking around like you're invincible. "Why so serious?" as they say. You think you've got time? You think you're in control? You're just a bunch of pawns in a much larger much funnier game. And I my friends am the game master!

Young Blood Old Problems (Or Lack Thereof)

The young'uns Gen Z are the worst offenders. Only 36% of them are covered. Pathetic! They're too busy taking selfies and posting on their little screens to think about you know kicking the bucket. They probably think they'll live forever. Oh the naiveté! It's almost... cute. Almost. But don't worry kids Daddy Joker will show you how fragile your little world really is! After all it's all part of the plan see? Chaos introduces a little order. And a little chaos well… that's just fun.

The Rich Get Richer the Poor… Stay Dead?

Unsurprisingly the more money you have the more likely you are to be insured. Because what is money good for if you cannot protect yourself? Those earning less than $50,000? Only 31% covered. But those earning $150,000 or more? A whopping 71%! Isn't that just the funniest thing? I mean who would have thought that the rich are more concerned with their families and assets huh? "It's not about the money it's about sending a message. Everything burns!" Mwahahaha!

A Battle of the Sexes (In Life Insurance)

Men are apparently 24% more likely to have life insurance than women. So even in death it's a man's world? The patriarchy lives on! It seems men understand their mortality a bit better. Or maybe they just like filling out forms. Who knows? It’s all a joke after all isn't it? I just do what I'm good at. I tell you what I have shown them that planning... is the only way to go. Nobody panics when things go "according to plan". Even if the plan is horrifying!

Why Bother? (Says the Clown Who Totally Would)

The article lists reasons to get life insurance: protect your home build cash value leave an inheritance cover final expenses. Blah blah blah. Sounds boring doesn't it? But think about the possibilities! Think about the chaos you could unleash! Imagine leaving your loved ones a fortune... or a series of confusing clues leading to a wild goose chase! Now that's entertainment. The only sensible way to live in this world is without rules.

The Punchline

So should you get life insurance? Should you protect your loved ones? Should you plan for the future? Who am I to say? I'm just a clown with a flair for the dramatic. But remember this: "Introduce a little anarchy. Upset the established order and everything becomes chaos. I'm an agent of chaos." And chaos my friends is always more interesting. So flip a coin. Heads you get life insurance. Tails you embrace the beautiful terrifying uncertainty of life. Either way it's all a part of the act. You see I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve.