Why So Serious About Oil Prices? A Clown's Take on Economic Doom!

A Month of Mayhem!

Well hello there my little economic enthusiasts! Did you hear the news? The energy sector had a little 'accident' last month. Down down down it went like a clown car plummeting off a cliff. A whopping 2.6% DROP on Wednesday alone! It’s like they’re trying to tell us something isn't it? And April? HA! Don't even get me started. The Energy Sector SPDR Fund or as I like to call it 'XLE,' had its biggest monthly face plant since... well who cares? The point is it's all going according to plan... or at least it's entertaining.

Crude Awakening!

Ah oil. The lifeblood of this… oh I don’t know… *thing* we call society. And what's this? It's plummeting faster than Batman's reputation after a certain… incident. West Texas Intermediate crude is now lounging around $60 a barrel. Pathetic! It's a sign my friends a sign that even *they* see the funny side of the recession looming on the horizon. Are they scared? I hope so! I don't want to kill you! What would I do without you? Go back to ripping off mob dealers? No no NO! I’m an agent of chaos.

Tariffs and Tantrums!

Of course we can't forget the orange elephant in the room can we? Tariffs! Trade wars! Oh the humanity! Francisco Blanch from Bank of America (do they even have any fun there?) says it's all connected. Global trade goes down industrial activity follows and cyclical commodity prices… well they get the last laugh don't they? It's all part of the plan see? Introduce a little anarchy. Upset the established order and everything becomes chaos. I'm an agent of chaos. Oh and you know the thing about chaos? It's FAIR!

Drill Baby Drill… Down the Drain!

But hold on it's not *all* about tariffs. Apparently supply plays a role too. More drilling more oil… it’s all very boring really. Except for the part where it doesn't matter! Even with regulations loosened energy companies are crying into their (presumably oil soaked) handkerchiefs. Andrew Smith at Delos Capital Advisors even called off his energy investment plans. Smart man. Or maybe just…predictable?

A Silver Lining? Don't Make Me Laugh!

Oh here's a gem. Lower energy prices *might* keep inflation in check. How… pedestrian. As if that matters when the whole system is about to go BOOM! It's like trying to fix a leaky faucet while the house is on fire. And cheaper oil is a warning sign? No kidding! You think? It's a symphony of despair a beautiful terrible glorious mess! Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I’m a dog chasing cars. I wouldn’t know what to do with one if I caught it!

The Punchline's On You!

So there you have it folks. The economy is a joke and you're all in on it! Enjoy the ride because as I always say "Introduce a little anarchy. Upset the established order and everything becomes chaos. I'm an agent of chaos. Oh and you know the thing about chaos? It's FAIR!" HAHAHAHAHA!