Lyft Buys Free Now?! Is This a Joke or a GENIUS Plan?!

Why So Serious Lyft?

So Lyft those clowns in the ride hailing circus are buying Free Now for a measly 175 million euros! Seems like they're finally deciding to spread their special kind of anarchy across the pond. Europe you’ve been warned! This grand entrance is supposed to close in the second half of 2025. Oh boy I can't wait to see how they paint the town... red! They're bragging about serving over 50 million users. Pfft amateurs. I once had 50 million terrified citizens at my beck and call. Now THAT’S a user base.

From Hamburg to Gotham: A Ride to Remember?

Free Now huh? Sounds like a desperate plea for attention. Founded in 2009 and parading around in 150 cities. They even dabble in e scooters and e mopeds. Trying to be all things to all people I see. A classic case of wanting to have your cake and eat it too. 'Earnings positive' they claim. Sure sure. Let's see if they can maintain that when they're dealing with my brand of chaos... I mean uh Lyft's expansion plans. They are owned by BMW and Mercedes Benz?! Now that's what I call a partnership of chaos a true testament to the spirit of anarchy

Now is the Time? Or is it?

Lyft thinks 'now is the time' to take on Europe. How adorable. They're facing off against Uber Bolt and Gett. A regular rogues' gallery of corporate greed. David Risher the ringleader of this circus says they've been 'improving' their service. Please. 'Losing share losing money?' Sounds like someone needs a lesson in making an entrance. Two years running the asylum... I mean Lyft. This should be good! Now they think they're ready for Europe. Oh the naivete is just precious. I wish them the best of luck even though they won't have it.

Uber All Over the Place!

Uber those guys are already causing mayhem in Europe. London tried to ban them twice? Ha! Now that's the kind of disruption I can appreciate. Safety concerns? Just a little bit of fun! Now Lyft is trying to catch up. Bless their little hearts. Let's see if they can handle the pressure. Remember all it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy! So many things to burn!

The Dark Knight Rises... or Rideshares?

So Lyft is stepping into the European arena hoping to make a name for themselves. Well here's a piece of advice: introduce a little anarchy. Upset the established order and everything becomes chaos. I'm an agent of chaos. Oh and chaos is a ladder. Many who try to climb it fail and never get to try again the fall breaks them. And some are given a chance to climb but they refuse. They cling to the realm or the gods or love. Illusions. Only the ladder is real the climb is all there is.

Wait Till They Get a Load of Me!

Honestly this whole thing is just… hilarious. All these corporations vying for power thinking they can control the streets. It's like they haven't learned a thing. But hey maybe I'll take a trip to Europe. See if I can spice things up a bit. After all why so serious? Let's put a smile on those faces!