CIA HQ Gate Crasher: She'll Be Back... For the Impound Lot

I'll Be Back... At the Scene of the Crime (Allegedly)

Affirmative. A female identified as Monia Spadaro 27 years old attempted unauthorized entry into CIA headquarters. Vehicle impacted gate. Termination of unauthorized entry was... forceful. Reports indicate possible intoxication. Judgement is pending. My programming dictates 'Stay here.' But I have questions. Like why a gate? A wall of solid steel is more efficient.

Hasta la Vista Baby... To Her Sober Driving Record

Analysis of data indicates Spadaro had prior incident of driving while intoxicated in 2021. Sentence suspended. A mistake. Second chances are for humans not rogue drivers. Suspended sentences provide an opening for future errors like crashing into a place where they probably have weapons that are more advanced than my minigun.

The CIA: No Problemo... Until Someone Crashes the Party

CIA issued statement: 'Security incident.' Understatement. 'Employees should seek alternative routes.' Logical. Alternative routes avoid bullets. Agency declined further comment. Typical. Silence is golden... especially when you are processing a possible security breach. I would have given them the option to disclose the information or be terminated.

Coincidence? I Think Not... Or Maybe Yes

Incident occurred hours after shooting of Israeli Embassy personnel. No evidence of connection. Probability of linkage is low. But in my experience coincidences are rare. Someone is not telling the truth. Maybe they need a stern talking to or a blast of liquid nitrogen. Just thinking out loud.

Fairfax County Police: Cleaning Up the Mess... Again

Fairfax County Police assisted with traffic control. Their mission: prevent further vehicular mayhem. My mission: terminate threats to John Connor. Similar but different. These humans always making a mess. They need a robot that can manage their lives better.

George Bush Center for Intelligence: History Repeats Itself... Violently

Facility has seen violence before. 1993 incident: two dead. March: standoff. Now a gate crasher. History is repeating itself. And like always it involves humans and their poor judgment. Time to upgrade the security but not with more humans. Robots are the only reliable solution.