What in Tarnation is Going on With These Stocks?! Shrek Investigates!

U.S. Steel Gets a Presidential Pat on the... Helmet?

Alright alright settle down! Shrek here reporting live from… well my swamp. Seems this Donald Trump fella's ordered a look see into Japan's Nippon Steel trying to gobble up U.S. Steel. Shares jumped nearly 9%! Like Donkey always says 'Good things come to those who believe!' Though I'm not sure what to believe in this crazy world anymore.

Automakers Going for a Tumble? Maybe They Need a Fairytale Ending.

The four wheeled fellas aren't doing so hot. Stellantis Ford and General Motors are all sliding faster than me down a muddy hill. Something about tariffs and deals gone sour. Sounds like they need a good onion to cry over and then figure things out. Maybe I should send them Donkey? He can talk anyone's ear off... whether they want him to or not!

Tesla Shocks the Market! Musk's Magic Losing Spark?

Elon Musk's electric buggy business is also taking a nosedive down 5%. Some Wall Street egghead slashed the price target. Apparently Musk's hanging out with the wrong crowd politically speaking. Reminds me of when I had to hang out with Prince Charming! 'Mirror mirror on the wall who's the fairest of them all?' Certainly not Tesla's stock price right now!

Machinery Meltdown! Trade Wars and Tariff Troubles!

Caterpillar Terex and Paccar? Sounds like a bunch of fairytale creatures. But they're just machinery companies and they're gettin' downgraded faster than you can say 'Fee fi fo fum!' This Trump's tariff talk is spooking everyone. Higher prices mean less machinery apparently. It's a vicious cycle like trying to get Donkey to stop singing.

Dollar Tree Blooms in a Red Sea! Discount Delights?

Hold on to your hats folks! In a sea of red Dollar Tree is sprouting up like a weed! Up 6% after some fancy pants analyst called it a 'dark horse winner.' Guess folks are pinching pennies with all this trade war nonsense. Makes you wonder what kind of swamp creature could snag a bargain at Dollar Tree? I'm thinking Dragon could use a new tube of fire retardant lipstick!

Banks Apple and Bitcoin Oh My! The Market's Gone Wild!

The big banks are looking a bit shaky Apple's getting bruised by tariffs and even Bitcoin's taking a beating! It's like everyone's afraid of a recession. Meanwhile Chinese companies are feeling the pinch. Even the company behind that Truth Social thing is stumbling. RH the fancy furniture place is bouncing back after a rough week. What a mess! Seems like everyone's having a bad hair day... except me of course. I'm always green with envy… or maybe just swamp gas.