What in Tarnation! Schwab Stock Lookin' Like a Princess Worth Savin'?

Farquaad's Fortune? More Like Shrek's Shares!

Alright alright settle down ya' bunch o' donkeys! Seems like even those fancy pants over at Goldman Sachs are seein' somethin' special in Charles Schwab. They went and slapped a 'Buy' rating on it like it's some kinda prize winning onion. Said somethin' about 'compelling earnings growth' in this here 'uncertain investing environment.' Sounds like a load of hooey to me but who am I to argue with folks who wear suits instead of... well ogre skin?

26% Gain? That's Almost as Good as a Donkey Ride!

This Blostein fella one of Goldman's bigwigs reckons the stock could jump almost 26%. That's enough to buy a whole cartload of swamp flowers for Fiona! He upped the price target to $100 which frankly sounds like Monopoly money to me. But hey if it means more shinin' coins in the ol' swamp coffers I ain't complainin'. They say it's already up this year and jumped a bit more after this fancy upgrade. Like I always say "Better out than in," especially when it comes to profits!

EPS Growth? Sounds Like a Fancy Ogre Burp!

Apparently Schwab's gonna have some serious 'Earnings Per Share' growth or EPS as the suits call it. This Blostein guy is sayin' it'll grow faster than other brokers. It's all thanks to their strong balance sheet which is like a ogre's layers the more the merrier. They're swimming in more money than I am in mud. That's saying something!

Excess Capital? Enough to Buy a Whole New Swamp!

And get this they're buildin' up 'excess capital.' Sounds like they got more gold than Rumpelstiltskin! Blostein figures they'll have about $20 billion by the end of 2027. Enough to buy back shares whatever that means. Probably just means they'll have even more money to hoard the greedy goblins! “People like onions.” So people like shares. I like shares that's why I hold them 'cause they are MY shares.

Trading at an 'Attractive Level'? Like a Plate of Swamp Sludge!

Apparently this stock is trading at a price that's "attractive." Says it's like it was the last few years even compared to the S&P 500. Sounds like they're sayin' it's a good deal even though they are underperforming. But hey even swamp sludge looks appetizing when you're hungry enough!

Analysts Are Mostly Bullish? Well I'm Mostly Ogre ish!

Most of the folks who watch this stuff are givin' Schwab the thumbs up. Eighteen out of twenty three of 'em are sayin' to buy it. Me? I'm stayin' put in my swamp but if you're lookin' to make a few extra bob os maybe these fellas are onto somethin'. Just remember even the best investment can turn into a pumpkin at midnight!