Stock Market's Gone Sour! What's an Ogre to Do About College Savings?!

What in the Swamp is Going On?

Well hello there! Shrek here reporting live from my uh internet swamp. Seems like this 'stock market' thingamajig is acting up again. Apparently some fancy pants president with uh interesting hair decided to slap on some 'tariffs,' and now everyone's running around like headless chickens! And that S&P 500? Down 15%! Fifteen percent! That's like losing a whole plate of my favorite mud pies! All this fancy talk affects them 529 college savings plans – the thingamajigs folks use to send their little whippersnappers to college. Seems like they're shrinking faster than Donkey's ego after a Fiona compliment.

Age Based Risk: Layers Like an Onion!

These fancy 529 plans they got are usually age based. Now it's all about layers like an onion! Ya see the older your little tadpole gets the less they put in stocks. They put it in bonds and cash. Cause that's less risky! So if your kid is close to needing that college money hopefully not too much of it is in the stock market anyway. It's like if you're about to fight a dragon you don't go in with just a toothpick ya know? You need layers of armor!

Dynamic Portfolios: More Like 'Di no mite' Portfolios Am I Right?

They talk about 'dynamic portfolios.' Fancy words eh? Basically they change the mix of what they're investing in as your kiddo gets older or closer to college. It's like baking a cake! You don't throw everything in at once do ya? You gotta add the ingredients at the right time so it doesn't end up like Donkey's cooking... which is a disaster! They usually start heavy on stocks when the kid is born but ease off before they're college bound.

Short Term Fixes: Like a Band Aid on a Broken Leg... Sort Of

If your little rugrat is knocking on college doors and your 529 looks like it's been through a dragon's fire don't you go pulling the ogre alarm just yet! Seems like there are things you can do. Like use your regular savings or if you got it take on one of them student loans. Then when the 'market' gets all better you can pay off the debt with your 529 loot. You can only pay off like $10,000 of loans with it though.

Time to Be a Bargain Hunting Ogre!

Now if your little sprout still has years before college this is a chance to be a bargain hunting ogre! When everyone is panicking and selling you can swoop in and buy stocks at a discount. It's like getting a whole bunch of mud pies for the price of one! Just remember pulling your money out now is like locking in the losses so hold on tight.

Just Let It Do Its Thing!

Remember this 'stock market' thing like onions has layers. And sometimes it stinks! But these ups and downs are normal. So set up your fancy plans then just let the market do its thing. If you just wait it out everything might just turn out alright!