Somebody Once Told Me the Fed Was Gonna Roll Me: Trump Eyes a 'Shadow Chair'!

What in the Name of Donkey is Going On?

Alright alright settle down! Shrek here reporting live from my swamp... which believe it or not is less of a mess than this whole Federal Reserve kerfuffle! Seems like that Trump fella the one with the uh interesting hair ain't too happy with ol' Jerome Powell. Says he's 'terrible' and even called him a 'very average mentally person'! Now I've been called worse by villagers with pitchforks but still ouch! It seems like Trump might be looking to plant his own little weed...err I mean 'shadow chair' at the Fed. Shrek don't like weeds in his swamp!

Potential Swamp Dwellers (or Fed Officials Whatever)

So who's on Trump's shortlist of potential swamp I mean Fed dwellers? We got Scott Bessent Kevin Hassett Kevin Warsh and even some fella named Christopher Waller! Bessent seems to be the front runner but sources tell me it ain't necessarily the case whatever that means! And there is even talk about David Malpass joining the party! Sounds like a right proper ogre convention if you ask me! Hope they brought their own onions.

Shrek's Got Layers...And So Does This Mess

Now this whole 'shadow chair' business is a bit like an onion it's got layers! First off there ain't no open spots right now. And some folks are saying this whole plan might be as shaky as a gingerbread man facing Lord Farquaad! Apparently trying to play backseat driver with the Fed could make things messier than my swamp after a rainstorm! "This plan probably isn't constitutional and would politicize the Fed for a few months before stability is restored next May," some smarty pants said.

The Fed's Been Busier Than a Fairy Godmother on Prom Night

While Trump's been busy flinging insults like mud the Federal Reserve has been up to its elbows in all sorts of stuff! They've been changing rules for banks and all that fancy financial gobbledegook. Seems they're trying to unclog the system like clearing a blocked outhouse if you catch my drift. It's all happening while Trump is still nagging about lowering interest rates.

The Swamp (or Fed) Is Supposed to Be Neutral Donkey!

Chicago Fed President Austan Goolsbee says all this political hooey won't affect their decisions. "That would have no effect on the FOMC itself," he claimed. 'Just look at the minutes and transcripts. You can see word for word what the rationale are in making the decisions and they're not about elections and they're not about partisan politics.' But can you believe it? After all I've seen that's hard to swallow than a bowl full of earwax! It's like saying Pinocchio never tells a lie!

Somebody Check My Blood Sugar I'm Confused!

So there you have it! Trump's got his eye on the Fed Powell's trying to keep the ship afloat and I'm just trying to understand it all! It's enough to make an ogre's head spin! All I know is if things get any weirder I'm heading back to my swamp with a lifetime supply of mud and onions! "Better out than in" as I always say!