Somebody Once Told Me: Trump Mulls a Tiny Tax Hike for the Rich!

What in Tarnation is Going On?

Alright folks Shrek here reporting live from my swamp – and believe me even my mud ain't as murky as this political mess. Seems like that Trump fella is thinkin' 'bout raisin' taxes on the rich. Now I ain't no Prince Charming but even I know that's like tryin' to put lipstick on a dragon. He says it's to help the little guys the ones workin' their tails off just like me when I gotta chase those blasted fairytale creatures off my land.

Read My Lips: A History Lesson (According to Trump)

Now here's where it gets swampy. Trump's worried about them 'Radical Left Democrat Lunatics' yellin' 'Read my lips!' like that George Bush fella. Apparently promise not to raise taxes and then doing it is a big no no. Trump's even blamin' Ross Perot bless his heart for the whole shebang! Donkey reckons it's like blamin' the Gingerbread Man for eatin' your cookies. Nonsense I say!

Republicans in a Pickle

So the Republicans are in a right state. They gotta figure out how to give Trump his tax cuts – he wants overtime and tips to be tax free bless his cotton socks – without makin' the deficit bigger than my backside. It's like tryin' to fit Fiona's wedding dress on me – ain't gonna happen! And the GOP's fiscal hawks are not gonna be happy.

The Art of the Deal (Or Maybe Not)

Trump's been chattin' with that House Speaker Mike Johnson tryin' to sweeten the deal. Apparently they can't afford all the tax cuts they wanted. Trump's even floated the idea of a higher tax bracket for the rich but with a special little loophole for small businesses. It's like sayin' I'll share my mud bath but only with pigs.

Closing Loopholes: A Fairytale?

And hold your horses he's even talkin' about closin' that 'carried interest loophole' – somethin' about Wall Street folk gettin' away with murder. Donkey says that's like stealin' candy from a baby but I reckon it's more like stealin' the Gingerbread Man's gumdrop buttons. Either way it ain't right!

So What's the Moral of the Story?

Well folks it seems like even the big bad wolf can't blow down this political house of cards. Trump's playin' a dangerous game and whether it works out or ends up a complete ogre sized disaster only time will tell. I'm off to my swamp where the only taxes I gotta worry about are the ones on my peace and quiet. And maybe deal with Donkey too.