NATO's Swamp Thing in Space: More Dough for Death Stars?

Ogres in Orbit: NATO's Space Strategy

Well hello there! Shrek here reporting live from my swamp… though this time we're talkin' about a different kinda swamp – the *space* swamp! Seems NATO's decided to get its ogre sized hands dirty in the commercial space sector. They're openin' their wallets wider than Donkey's mouth when he sees a waffle and all those defense contractors are lining up like they're at a gingerbread man convention! This new commercial space strategy is the cherry on top of a whole lotta cheddar. They're talkin' about pumpin' up defense spending from 2% to a whopping 5% of the GDP by 2035. Five percent! That's more than I spend on mud baths in a year!

Some Body Once Told Me the World is Gonna Fund Me!

Now hold your horses… or your noble steed if you're into that kinda fairytale stuff. Only 3.5% of that cash is for 'pure' defense whatever that means. The other 1.5%? That's for fancy infrastructure like cyber warfare and intelligence. Seems like they're plannin' on fightin' wars in the digital swamp too! Remember back in 2019 NATO declared space an 'operational' domain? Well now they reckon an attack from or within space is an attack on *all* of 'em. So buckle up buttercups 'cause space war might just be the next big thing. I liked it better when the biggest threat was a dragon named Donkey's girlfriend.

Fine Print Fit for Farquaad!

They're supposed to be publishin' their new Space Doctrine in 2026. Now whether everyone actually *will* meet that 5% target is up in the air like… well like Donkey tryin' to fly. Only Poland came close last year and even the US is laggin'. Seems like everyone's gotta pull their finger out! But hey the EU is lookin' at mobilizin' 800 billion euros for defense and Germany's loosenin' the purse strings too. The UK is gettin' in on it as well. Next thing you know everyone will have a Death Star!

To Infinity and... Secure Comms!

Communication navigation surveillance – that's the name of the game in space defense. Before you start dreamin' of interstellar dogfights! And then there's Trump's Golden Dome defense shield. Boeing Lockheed Martin even those fancy Europeans are fightin' over that gold mine. Planet Labs even snagged a contract to give NATO some fancy monitorin' and intelligence. It's all startin' to sound like a swamp of bureaucracy if you ask me.

Starlink vs. Eutelsat: A Tale of Two Satellites

Remember that whole Starlink business in Ukraine? Elon Musk that whippersnapper has been facilitatin' internet access and communication during all that ruckus with those pesky Russians. Now Europe's got the jitters seein' as they don't fully trust that Starlink's gonna be reliable down the line. Enter Eutelsat the French fancy pants. They're steppin' up to the plate to give Starlink a run for its money. They've got over 650 OneWeb satellites and the French government is throwin' money at 'em like they're Fiona handin' out onions. Shares are sky high (no pun intended!) so it'll be interesting to see if they can truly dethrone that Musk fellow.

Macron's Space Race and Other Galactic Shenanigans

Just when you thought things couldn't get any swampier French President Macron says Europe needs to be a 'space power' again. He wants more investment to beat the US and China. And the China is dabbling in it's own operating system up in space. I tell ya it's like the whole world's gone space crazy! Seems NASA is facing budget cuts which could give China an edge in the space race. Then there's South Korea tryin' to build a reusable rocket. Even Honda is tryin' their hand at rockets. It's a regular circus out there! The biggest thing to remember is 'Better out than in' and hopefully the same goes for these galactic ventures.