Harvard Gets Ogrelapped! Trump Admin Boots International Students Over 'Pro-Terrorist' Shenanigans!

What in the Name of Donkey's Breath is Going On?

Alright alright settle down! Shrek's got the scoop. Seems like the Trump folks have decided Harvard's been a bit naughty. They've yanked their ability to enroll new international students and told the ones already there they better pack their bags faster than I can eat a bowl of earwax stew! Word is it's all 'cause of some 'pro terrorist conduct.' Sounds serious even for my swamp!

Harvard's Big International Whoopsie

Now I ain't no fancy college professor but even I know that 27% of Harvard's students being international is a whole lotta students! That's like more than the number of times Donkey asks 'Are we there yet?' on a long trip. Apparently these students are in a right mess if they don't transfer faster than you can say 'Gingerbread Man!'

Noem's Got a Bone to Pick (and a Swamp to Drain?)

Kristi Noem she's the head honcho at the Department of Homeland Security and she's not mincing words. She says Harvard's been 'fostering violence antisemitism and coordinating with the Chinese Communist Party.' Sounds like someone's been reading too many fairy tales if you ask me. But she's saying it's a 'privilege' for colleges to have these students not a right. Ooh burn!

Tuition Troubles and Endowment Envy

Now here's where it gets interesting. Noem's also hinting that Harvard's just in it for the money. International students they pay a pretty penny in tuition and Harvard's got a 'multibillion dollar endowment.' Sounds like someone's jealous of the swamp's financial stability... wait do swamps even HAVE financial stability?

DEI Debacle and Frozen Funds

Things got even swampier when the administration froze $2.2 billion in federal grants to Harvard. Apparently Harvard wasn't too keen on ditching their diversity equity and inclusion programs or grilling international students on their politics. This is getting messier than my outhouse after taco night!

Looks Like Harvard Need Some Magic

So there you have it. Harvard's in the doghouse. They're fighting with the administration losing international students and missing out on a whole lotta dough. Maybe they should ask Fairy Godmother for a little help. Or you know just try not to be 'pro terrorist.' That usually helps. Shrek out!