Farquaad-Sized Fiber: Charter and Cox Cable Companies are Getting Hitched!

What in the Name of Duloc is Going On?

Well gather 'round 'cause I gotta tell ya things are gettin' shrek tacular in the world of cable! Charter Communications that's the fella what's second biggest after Comcast and Cox Communications a privately held company are gettin' hitched! Seems like everyone wants a piece of the swamp these days. They're merging into one big green (figuratively of course) cable lovin' monster. This deal is worth a king's ransom more than all the gold in Rumpelstiltskin's vault. We're talkin' billions here!

More Channels Than You Can Shake a Stick At!

Now what does this mean for you the average swamp dweller? Well supposedly it means more options. Charter with its Spectrum service will cover everything from your telly to your mobile phone. They're promising to make it easier to get all your gadgets hooked up. But I'm an ogre not a fool. I've seen promises before and they usually end up smellin' worse than dragon farts. They're bundling all those mobile lines to keep customers which is good but it seems like something Farquaad would do...

Wireless Whippersnappers Stealing Our Swamp!

See the thing is these cable companies are fightin' tooth and nail with those fancy pants wireless companies. 5G this fixed wireless that! It's all a bunch of mumbo jumbo to me. They're losin' customers faster than I can scare away a band of villagers. People are ditchin' the old cable TV bundles faster than you can say 'Get out of my swamp!' That's why these companies are clutchin' at straws and merging tryin' to stay afloat in this techy swamp. Makes sense...you gotta do what you gotta do to survive.

A King's Ransom of Cost Cutting!

Charter thinks they can save a whole heap of treasure about $500 million a year by joinin' forces. That's a lot of onions even for me! They're callin' it 'cost synergies.' Sounds fancy but it probably means fewer jobs for the little guys. But hey who am I to judge? I'm just a simple ogre tryin' to make a livin' in this crazy world. They should hire more ogres for a job like this.

Who's in Charge of This Swamp Now?

Chris Winfrey the big cheese at Charter will still be runnin' the show. But Alex Taylor from Cox will be the chairman of the board. Seems like they're tryin' to keep everyone happy. And the combined company will change its name to Cox Communications within a year after the deal closes but Charter's Spectrum is here to stay and will be covering it all. They'll keep a big office in Atlanta but the main headquarters will be in Connecticut. It's all a bit like figurin' out who gets to sleep in the gingerbread man's house.

I'm Not Makin' Any Promises But...

So there you have it. Charter and Cox makin' like Donkey and Dragon. Will it be a fairytale ending or a swampy disaster? Only time will tell. But remember what I always say: 'People like ogres. Nice blooming attractive ogres.' Maybe these cable companies will be nice and attractive to us swamp dwellers. Or maybe they'll just stink up the place. We'll see. I'll keep ya posted just like I kept Donkey posted on the whereabouts of my swamp.