Bill Gates Drowning in Dough: Can't Give Away His Gold Fast Enough!

Like an Onion This Story Has Layers!

Well gather 'round you swamp dwellers! Seems our pal Bill Gates he's got a problem even I Shrek can relate to – havin' too much stuff! Only difference is I got too many mud pies and he's got... well let's just say enough money to make even Dragon blush. He's announced he's gonna give away 'virtually all' his wealth through his Gates Foundation over the next 20 years. 'Virtually all'? Sounds like someone's leaving a little somethin' somethin' for a rainy day. Smart ogre...er man!

The Clock is Tickin' Faster Than Donkey Chasin' a Dragon!

Now the Gates Foundation that's been around longer than Donkey's been yappin' is set to close up shop in 2045. That's like tomorrow in ogre years! They're planning to dish out over $200 billion! That's more treasure than I found in Dragon's keep. But here's the kicker: seems like Gates is so good at makin' money he can't give it away fast enough! He's like a reverse Robin Hood...rich man givin' to...well still kinda rich people I guess. But hey who am I to judge?

Too Much Bling for One Swamp!

This FoundationMark fella John Seitz he's sayin' they ain't gonna hit their spend down goal if they only give away $10 billion a year. Apparently all that fancy investing they're doin' keeps makin' the pile bigger! It's like tryin' to eat an endless onion – you just keep cryin'! Seitz suggests Gates either keeps his gold coins under the mattress (interest free mind you!) or ups the giving. Now there's a thought! More money for everyone!

They're Makin' it Rain More Than My Swamp After a Storm!

The Gates Foundation is sticking to its plan to spend down by 2045 but mum's the word on how. Seitz figures even if they play it safe with investments they'll still have nearly $14 billion left over! That's enough to buy a whole lotta swamp property let me tell ya. But he reckons they'll probably give away even more like they've done in the past. If their giving grows they might actually spend it all by 2046 giving away over $30 billion in the final year. Now that's what I call goin' out with a bang!

Ogres Don't Retire... Foundations Do?

So after two decades the Gates Foundation would have given away a whopping $400 billion! That's enough to make even Lord Farquaad jealous. Seitz thinks these big payouts might be used to support other charities after the Gates Foundation is no more. Talk about leaving a legacy! Makes me wonder what kind of legacy I'll leave behind...besides a swamp full of mud and happy little ogre children.

Happily Ever After...Or Just a Big Question Mark?

But here's the rub: some folks are worried about what happens to global health efforts when the Gates Foundation closes its doors. Professor Irvin is calling the sunsetting plan 'stunning.' She reckons the foundation's work has a massive impact especially on kids' health and closing it down will have ripple effects for generations. I guess even fairy tales can have a bittersweet ending. As I always say better out than in... and maybe better to give it all away than hoard it like a dragon eh?