Yo Adrian! Harvard in a Rumble with the Feds Over Race-Based Article Picks!?

Gonna Fly Now... Straight Into Trouble?!

Yo Adrian you won't believe this! Seems like Harvard yeah the fancy pants school is in a bit of a brawl. The Trump guys are lookin' into somethin' fishy goin' on at the Harvard Law Review. They're sayin' that this journal might be pickin' articles based on get this *race*! Not if the darn thing's good or nothin' but who wrote it! It's like pickin' a fighter 'cause of his gloves not 'cause he can throw a punch!

DEI? More Like 'Deez Nuts' to the Feds?!

And that ain't all Adrian. The Trump crew also wants Harvard to ditch their whole DEI program. You know that Diversity Equity and Inclusion thing. They think it's gone loco! Plus they want Harvard to keep a close eye on those international students. Make sure they ain't got any weird ideas cookin'. It's like Apollo Creed checkin' out Clubber Lang before the fight... gotta know your enemy right?

Two Point Two BILLION! Frozen Like Ice in Philly?!

Two weeks ago those fellas put a freeze on $2.2 BILLION in grants to Harvard. Two point two BILLION Adrian! That's enough to buy a lotta steaks for Butkus! They're worried about antisemitism on campus and other stuff that's like going against what's right. I mean come on you gotta treat everyone fair or what kind of world are we livin' in?

Title VI: The Eye of the Tiger of Civil Rights!

Now the big dogs at the Department of Education and the Department of Health and Human Services are gettin' involved. They're gonna start diggin' into these claims of discrimination. They say that the Law Review might be breakin' Title VI of the Civil Rights Act. Adrian that's serious stuff! I fought harder for Mickey than they are now. It's like a referee steppin' in to stop a dirty fight. You can't have that especially not in a place that’s supposed to represent our laws!

White Guys Can't Write About Police Reform?! Yo What?!

They even got a quote from one of the editors sayin' it was 'concerning' that four out of five people who wanted to talk about police reform were… wait for it… *white men*! And another editor wanted to fast track a piece 'cause the author was a minority. It's like sayin' you gotta be Italian to make good spaghetti. It just don't make no sense! Color don't determine if you can write!

No Pedigree Can Beat the Law! Not Even a Dog's!

This Trainor fella from the Education Department said it straight: Harvard's pickin' winners and losers based on race! He called it a 'spoils system'. Says that the color of your skin is more important than how good your article is. He goes on to say that nobody is above the law not even Harvard. The law is the law. Adrian that's the gospel! Even a bum like me knows that!