Good News Everyone Uber in Hot Water With the FTC!

Wernstrom! It's That Pesky Government Again!

Good news everyone! It appears that Uber that ride hailing contraption has found itself in quite the pickle with the Federal Trade Commission. Apparently they're accused of some shifty business practices regarding their 'Uber One' subscription service. I haven't used one of those things in years it is always 'use our app' this and 'give us your location' that. Bah! As if I'd let them know where I'm going to develop my next doomsday device. Mark my words Wernstrom! You'll never see it coming!

Misleading Advertising? Why I Never!

The FTC claims Uber misled consumers about the potential savings with Uber One. They advertise 'savings of $25 a month' without properly disclosing the monthly cost. A blatant disregard for the principles of science! It's like advertising a brain slug helmet as 'making you smarter' without mentioning the whole 'mind control' aspect. Outrageous!

Cancelation Conundrum! Sweet Zombie Jesus!

Ah the age old trap of the difficult cancellation. It seems Uber is making it tougher than escaping a Robot Devil's infernal orchestra. Some users are reporting being charged even AFTER canceling! That's worse than discovering your Slurm is just recycled bodily fluids. Disgusting!

Trump's FTC Strikes Again! Or Does It?!

Interestingly the FTC chair this Ferguson fellow seems quite keen on cracking down on Big Tech. He even mentioned it's one of the reasons President Trump appointed him. Oh my! Is this the end of our dependency on technology could we go back to doing things in an old fashioned way? Back to the good old days or should I say 'Good news everyone!'

A Million Dollars You Say?!

Now here's a curious tidbit: Uber's CEO and the company itself reportedly donated a hefty sum to President Trump's inaugural fund. Coincidence? I think NOT! It's like when I 'donated' a perfectly good ProfessorBot to MomCorp. Purely for research purposes of course... mostly.

Uber's Defense: 'We Did Nothing Wrong!'

Uber is naturally denying any wrongdoing claiming their subscription processes are clear and simple. They say cancellations take a mere 20 seconds. Twenty seconds! That's an eternity in the fast paced world of tomorrow! Why I can invent three new kinds of doomsday devices in that time. Still I'm keeping a close eye on this. Who knows maybe I can invent a device to cancel subscriptions from across the universe. Now that's a project worth investing in!