Good News Everyone Tariffs Arent Raising Prices Just Yet!

Tariffs Today? Bah! Humbug!

Good news everyone! It seems these new tariffs of President what's his name Trump aren't the immediate price raising doom we feared! Much like remembering Nibbler's origins things take time to travel through the digestive I mean global supply chain. Senator whats her name Elizabeth Warren is already squawking but as always I say 'Wha?'

The On The Water What Now?

Ah yes the 'on the water clause'! A clever little loophole much like my attempts to create a universal translator that only translates to obscene dialects. Anything already sailing the seas won't be taxed right away. So if you see prices spiking it's more likely retailers being greedy not those pesky tariffs. They are playing us for fools fools fools!

CEOs and Their Wacky Predictions

Delta's CEO is whining Walmart's CEO is waffling... Honestly they remind me of Bender after a few too many shots of dark matter. Always predicting doom and gloom! A recent survey even shows CEOs think prices will rise anywhere from 5% to 20%! It is like those times when I forget how to do science. To shreds you say?

Supply Demand and the Inevitable Mess

As companies pull back orders supply will shrink. Basic economics people! It's like explaining quantum mechanics to Zoidberg – utterly pointless! Amazon's already cancelling orders! The end is nigh! Or at least slightly more expensive.

Powell's Predictions of Peril!

Even that Federal Reserve fellow Powell thinks the tariffs are bigger than expected. He predicts higher inflation and slower growth! Much like my experiments involving time travel and doomsday devices the consequences could be… unexpected. Oh Dear oh dear oh dear!

The Great Tariff Tax The Great Wait

So the tariffs are coming eventually. Around $1.247 billion daily from China $331 million from the EU. A tax on U.S. importers! But don't panic just yet. Remember a watched pot never boils and a taxed shipment takes time to arrive and increase prices or to be delivered by Hermes Conrad.