Good News Everyone! OPEC+ Speeds Up Oil Output, But Will It Save Us From $1000-a-gallon Gasoline?

Wubba Lubba Dub Dub! More Oil?

Good news everyone! Your old pal Professor Farnsworth here reporting live from the year 3024. I’ve just received word that a group of Earthicans – or as they call themselves 'OPEC+' – have decided to pump out even MORE of that dinosaur sludge we use to fuel our backwards contraptions! Apparently they're boosting oil output by a whopping 411,000 barrels a day. A number so high it could give even Zoidberg the bends!

A Barrel of Monkeys and a Barrel of Oil!

Now I know what you're thinking: 'Professor is this going to finally bring down those gas prices that are higher than Nibbler's… well you know?' And the answer my friends is: maybe! These OPEC+ countries bless their little hearts seem to be trying to compensate for that whole 'trade war' hullabaloo between the United States and China. Seems like folks are expecting demand to slow down so they're pumping more crude to try and keep things stable. Or as stable as things can be in this whacky universe!

Sixty Bucks a Barrel?! A Bargain!

The article mentions oil prices dipped below $60 a barrel due to this decision and some silly trade tariffs. Why back in my day that was practically free! Of course a gallon of gasoline still cost approximately one dollar but now good luck finding something at that price!

The Blame Game (Brought to You by Slurm!)

But here's where things get interesting. Turns out there's some internal squabbling going on. Saudi Arabia the big kahuna of OPEC+ is apparently miffed at Kazakhstan and Iraq for pumping out MORE oil than they’re supposed to! 'Great Neptune's Beard!' as Zapp Brannigan would say 'These rascals must be stopped!' Looks like someone is due for a stern talking to...or perhaps a demonstration of my latest doomsday device!

Good News They Have A Plan!

Now OPEC+ assures us they have a cunning plan. They plan to hold a full ministerial meeting on May 28. Let's hope they don't end up fighting with each other with the knives out because that's exactly what happened at my last scientific conference.

So Will We Ever Get Cheaper Gas?

Ultimately whether this oil production increase will actually lead to cheaper gas remains to be seen. Honestly I doubt it. Mark my words these increases are only a temporary solution to a much larger problem. We should probably all invest in those Smell O Scopes and start looking for a new planet with abundant easily accessible resources. Or you know just invent a car that runs on dark matter. To infinity… and beyond!