Good News Everyone! Dollar Surges, But Will It Last Longer Than My Last Clone?

A Dollar Walks Into a Bar...

Good news everyone! It appears that those meddling Yanks have stirred up a hornet's nest in the Middle East and wouldn't you know it the U.S. dollar has decided to puff out its chest like Zapp Brannigan at a nude beach! Apparently military strikes are good for *something*. The dollar index that mysterious number that tells us if our money is winning or losing jumped up like a startled kangaroo. But hold your horses or should I say your hypo toad. As any scientist knows initial reactions are often misleading! Just like that time I tried to create a race of super intelligent gerbils – they just wanted to play the banjo!

A Temporary Respite?

Now now don't get too excited and start building that solid gold doomsday bunker just yet. It seems that the 'experts' (a species I often find myself at odds with particularly those blasted economists) are saying this dollar surge is about as permanent as my youth. They claim that pesky issues like fiscal policy trade wars and a lack of global interest in American trinkets are still lurking in the shadows ready to pounce like a brain slug at a Mensa convention. *Oh my yes.*

The Strait of What Now?

Apparently this whole kerfuffle is tied to the Strait of Hormuz which sounds suspiciously like a Klingon aphrodisiac. It’s a vital waterway for oil transit and if someone slams the door shut expect gas prices to skyrocket faster than Hermes Conrad can limbo under a closing gate. But some clever clogs at RBC Capital Markets are suggesting that Iran might be more subtle in its retaliation. Think of it as economic warfare only with fewer lasers. Though knowing those chaps lasers can't be ruled out entirely. It would be a *fitting* addition.

Treasury Troubles Oh My!

Normally when the world goes kablooey investors run to U.S. Treasury bonds like lemmings to a cliff edge. But this time the reaction is… muted. As one so called 'expert' points out that old trade deficit is a real problem and those pesky tariffs aren't helping either. A potential increase in the supply of Treasuries given the soft fiscal policy certainly poses as an issue!

Tariff ic News

To add insult to injury that deadline for European tariffs is looming closer than Nibbler after a dark matter cupcake. If those tariffs go into effect prepare for economic fireworks! Some smart cookies at Macquarie (not the Apple kind) suggest that the dollar would be sinking faster than Bender at a wet t shirt contest if it weren't for this whole Middle East hullabaloo. They’re saying that while the data from outside the US while weak does not point to further deterioration relative to the US. *Interesting... Very interesting!*

The Short of It

And finally those sneaky strategists at Bank of America have sniffed out that a lot of investors are betting against the dollar. This means that *any* downward move could turn into an avalanche of financial doom! But then again what do they know? These chaps are hardly ever right... Oh the horrors! Still I suggest we all prepare for the worst! Now where did I put that bottle of *Dr. Ogden Wernstrom's Miracle Elixir*?!