Good News Everyone! Airlines Rerouting Over Middle East Mayhem! (And My Afternoon Nap is Ruined!)

Missiles? Oh My Glob!

Good news everyone! It appears the ongoing brouhaha in the Middle East has caused quite the kerfuffle for our beloved airlines. A recent report from some organization (probably run by a bunch of pointy headed intellectuals!) suggests that potential U.S. strikes on Iran’s quote unquote 'nuclear sites' (as if we don't have enough dangerous radiation already!) could escalate risks to American operators in the region. As if I didn't have enough to worry about with the impending doom of global warming and the rise of the machines! Now the skies are getting dangerous too!

Airspace? More Like Scare space!

Apparently airlines are giving Iran Iraq Syria and Israel the wide berth. Who can blame them? Why fly over potential missile fodder when you can take the scenic route over the Caspian Sea? Of course this all means longer flight times higher fuel costs and more whining from passengers (oh my!). But as I always say 'When will they learn that normals and mutants can't coexist?' I mean safety first people!

Evacuations? Wake Me Up When It's Over!

Following some ahem 'disagreements' Israel briefly opened its airspace to allow for rescue flights. I swear these conflicts are more disruptive than Nibbler’s bowel movements! El Al and other carriers suspended regular flights but ran rescue missions to bring stranded citizens home. Meanwhile those who booked tickets will have to wait a few weeks...or learn how to teleport with the Smell O Scope!

High Alert! Danger Will Robinson!

Safe Airspace those worrywarts are advising a 'high degree of caution' for flights in the region even suggesting that the risk could extend to countries like Bahrain Kuwait and Qatar. Honestly it sounds like a good time for a nice long vacation… on Omicron Persei 8! At least there the only thing you have to worry about is being eaten by Lrrr!

Tourists Want Out (and I Want a Nap!)

Reports indicate that tens of thousands of Israelis are stuck abroad while nearly 40,000 tourists are trying to flee Israel. Some are escaping via Jordan and Egypt. I have to wonder if they know about my invention the Fing Longer? They could reach their destinations faster. It might be safer to build a rocket out of old mayonnaise jars than to travel through that mess!

World to the Rescue!

Japan and New Zealand are joining the rescue efforts. New Zealand is sending a Hercules which will be very useful. How wonderful that they're willing to assist. But as I always say "I don't want to live on this planet anymore." I believe that holds true now more than ever. Now if you'll excuse me I need a nap. All this geopolitical stress is giving me brain cramps!