Nikkei Barely Moves While Trump's Tariffs Give Everyone a HUGE Headache!

Japan's Inflation: It's Above 2%! Pog?

Okay okay Imane here! So like everyone's talking about Japan's Nikkei 225 barely budging – up a whole 0.01%. Literally I blink and it's like nothing happened. But here's the tea: their inflation is still climbing sitting at 3.6%. That’s three years above the Bank of Japan's 2% target! Honestly it's like when I try to diet – always exceeding my calorie goals! But hey at least it’s *slightly* lower than last month. Small wins am I right?

Core Core? Sounds Like a New League of Legends Item!

Now get this – they have something called "core core" inflation. Sounds like something you'd find in a video game right? But no it's how they measure inflation without the messy stuff like fresh food and energy prices. Apparently the BOJ is obsessed with it and it went UP to 2.9%. Maybe they should just consult my chat for economic advice? I mean we're basically financial advisors at this point aren't we?

Korea's Vibin' China's Slippin'

South Korea's Kospi is vibin' adding a whole 0.1%. Meanwhile China's CSI took a lil' tumble at the open down 0.33%. It's giving me flashbacks to those intense TFT matches where my win streak just *poof* disappears. The rest of Asia? They’re on vacay. Lucky ducks!

Trump's Tariff Tantrums: Is This My Villain Origin Story?

Oh boy Uncle Donny is at it again! Trump’s throwing around tariff threats like I throw around emotes during a heated Valorant match. First he announces "reciprocal" tariffs (whatever *that* means) then he kinda walks it back. Talk about mixed signals! It's giving me major dating app vibes. Is this my villain origin story? I’m getting flashbacks to the drama with Ninja… *shudders*.

S&P 500: Going Up? Going Down? Who Knows!

Over in the U.S. the markets are more confused than my viewers when I try to explain crypto. The S&P 500 inched higher but finished the week lower. Make it make sense! It's like when I try to do a 'no look' clutch in Valorant – sometimes it works sometimes I end up embarrassing myself. The Nasdaq dipped a tiny bit but the Dow Jones took a HUGE hit. Ouch.

The Moral of the Story? HODL and Hope for the Best!

So what's the takeaway? Basically the world is a mess markets are unstable and Trump's tariffs are making everyone sweat. It's like when I accidentally leak my address on stream – pure panic! The only thing we can do is HODL our investments hope for the best and maybe spam some PogChamps in chat. Stay safe out there my loves! And remember don't listen to everything I say I'm just a streamer not a financial advisor! (Seriously don't sue me.)