Believe It! Verizon Ditches DEI to Nab Frontier in $20 Billion Deal!

Dattebayo! A Deal is a Deal!

Alright listen up everyone! Naruto Uzumaki here reporting live from… well wherever the tastiest ramen is! I’ve got some serious news hotter than a bowl of Ichiraku’s special! Verizon you know those guys with the phones that *sometimes* work in the Hidden Leaf just bought Frontier for a whopping $20 billion! That's like enough to buy a lifetime supply of ramen! But here's the kicker they had to ditch their Diversity Equity and Inclusion (DEI) programs to make it happen! Believe it!

Brendan Carr's Jutsu: Diversity No Jutsu... Vanishes!

So apparently FCC Chair Brendan Carr wasn’t too thrilled with Verizon’s DEI programs. He was like ‘Hold on a minute! Is this… discrimination?’ It's like when I tried to sneak into the Hokage's office – someone ALWAYS has to make things difficult! Carr even launched an investigation which let me tell you sounds way scarier than Sakura chan getting mad! He said this deal will “unleash billions of dollars” in new infrastructure builds. I wonder if that includes better internet for streaming my Hokage inauguration speech?

Verizon's Transformation: From Diversity to… Well Less Diversity?

To get the deal done Verizon basically said 'Poof! DEI programs be gone!' They’re taking down their 'Diversity and Inclusion' website scrubbing DEI from training and changing their hiring practices. It's like when I finally learned the Rasengan – sometimes you gotta make sacrifices to get what you want even if it means ditching your old… well jutsu! Their chief legal officer even said some DEI policies "could be associated with discrimination." I guess even the smartest ninjas can get confused sometimes ya know?

Fiber Optics: The New Chakra?

The good news? Verizon promises to upgrade Frontier’s network in 25 states! More fiber optics mean faster internet! That's like upgrading from a shuriken to a Rasenshuriken! They’re talking about reaching 1 million homes a year. Imagine all the online ramen orders we could place! But seriously faster internet could help connect people and share knowledge. Just like the Hokage shares his wisdom with the village!

No More Lady Hokages… in Verizon?

Here's where it gets a bit… thorny. Verizon will no longer aim for workforce diversity goals and they're dropping the part of management pay tied to increasing women and minorities in the US workforce. Ouch! That’s like saying we can't have any more female Hokages! Wait that's never happened! Maybe this DEI thing *was* important? This is almost as confusing as trying to understand Kakashi sensei's mask collection!

Believe It! Controversy and Complaints!

Of course not everyone’s happy. Democratic FCC Commissioner Anna Gomez thinks Verizon is just bowing down to pressure and making things harder for companies. It's like when everyone doubted me but I showed them all! Hopefully this deal works out for the best and everyone gets a slice of the pie – or a bowl of ramen! Now if you’ll excuse me I hear Ichiraku's is calling my name! Dattebayo!