Shishishi! Trump's Gonna Stop the Bloodbath? I'll Bet My Straw Hat!

Meat on the Bone?

Oi everyone! Luffy here reporting straight from the Grand Line… well not really but this news about Trump trying to stop that big fight between Russia and Ukraine is HUGE! He's gonna call Putin and Zelenskyy on Monday says he wants to stop the 'bloodbath'. Sounds like a tough challenge even for a guy who used to be the Pirate King… wait that's me! Shishishi!

24 Hours? More Like 'Two Years Later'!

Remember how Trump said he could end the war in 24 hours? That's like me saying I'll find the One Piece tomorrow! It ain't that easy especially with these guys acting tougher than Zoro after a sake binge. Seems like he's blaming both sides now which is kinda like saying Sanji and Zoro are equally responsible for wrecking the kitchen. Blasphemy!

Crimea River!

Apparently Trump's a bit miffed that Zelenskyy isn't giving up Crimea. That's like telling me to give up meat! NEVER! He thinks Zelenskyy's 'inflammatory statements' are making things worse. Maybe he should try talking to them with a belly full of meat and a good laugh? It always works for me!

The Turkey Trot?

So Putin skipped some peace talks in Turkey and Trump's all like 'Fine I'll do it myself!' That's the spirit! It's like when I charge into a fight even when Nami tells me not to. Sometimes you gotta take matters into your own hands even if it means getting punched in the face a few times. Though hopefully Trump won't get punched… metaphorically at least.

Solving It… Or Maybe Not!

Trump says he and Putin will meet and maybe they'll solve it 'or maybe not.' That's some inspiring stuff right there! It's like when I tell Usopp we're gonna find treasure for sure… even though we're probably just gonna find more trouble. But hey adventure is adventure!

God Bless… And Good Luck!

He wants a ceasefire and hopes it'll be productive. And adds 'God Bless us all!!!'. Well good luck to him! Ending a war is harder than eating all the meat in the world. But hey if anyone can do it with a bit of bluster and a whole lotta… well Trumpness it might be him. Shishishi! Let's see if he can pull off a Gear Fourth negotiation!