SHISHISHI! Trump Family Goes Crypto Crazy! Is This Treasure or Trouble?

Meat on the Blockchain? SHISHISHI!

Oi everyone! Luffy here Captain of the Straw Hats! I heard some weird news from the Grand Line... apparently the Trump family – you know those guys who are always in the news not as famous as me though! – are starting a Bitcoin mining company! They're teaming up with Gryphon Digital Mining and calling it... American Bitcoin! Sounds like a treasure map to me! SHISHISHI!

Gomu Gomu No... Stock Merger!

So this American Bitcoin thingy is going public on the Nasdaq. Sounds complicated like Nami explaining taxes! Gryphon's shares jumped like Usopp when he sees a ghost! They're doing some kind of all stock merger which if I understand correctly – and I probably don't – means they're swapping pieces of paper that represent the company not actual meat! What a ripoff!

98% Treasure? Or a Devil Fruit Curse?!

The article says the Trump boys Eric and Don Jr. own like 98% of the new company. That's a lot of treasure! Makes me wonder if they found the One Piece already! But knowing my luck it's probably a trap set by Buggy the Clown. I should probably warn them but I am sure they are not pirate materials!

Meme Coins and Private Dinners? That's One Weird Bounty!

Apparently they also have a meme coin called $TRUMP and they're offering a private dinner with the *cough* president *cough* to the top coin holders. A private dinner? That sounds boring! I'd rather have all the meat in the world! Sanji start cooking!

Winning the Crypto Race... By Any Means Necessary?

Eric Trump is saying they want to "win the crypto race" like they "won the space race". Sounds like a challenge! I don't know much about races but I know I always win when it comes to eating! This winning mentality reminds me of someone I admire though I just can't point my finger on who it is...

Environmental Rumble: A Risky Gamble?

Now here's the tricky part. This Bitcoin mining needs a lot of power and the article says they're loosening environmental rules to get more fossil fuels. That doesn't sound good! We gotta protect the seas and the land or where else are we gonna find adventure...and meat?! Sounds like something Aokiji would disagree with...