SHISHISHI! Tech Stocks About to TANK? Even I Can Smell Trouble!

Meat Meat Meat! Or is it TOO Much Meat?

Alright listen up! Luffy here your Captain and future King of the Pirates now reporting on… STOCKS! Apparently some brainy guys are saying these 'tech stocks' – sounds like robots to me! – are about to go belly up! They call it a 'pullback' after a 'runup'. Sounds like a race to get the best meat and someone's gonna lose! President Trump who I guess is like a REALLY serious mayor or something made some tariff announcements. It's like when Sanji hides the meat and everyone gets angry! But then he gives us some anyway like a 'temporary reduction'. Shishishi!

Earnings Season? More Like EATINGS Season!

So these 'stocks' got a boost because of 'earnings'. Sounds like someone's been eating too much! And these 'jobs' things are doing well too. Basically everyone's happy… for now! Apparently Microsoft and Meta (are they friends with Usopp?) are spending tons of money on data centers even if it costs them more because of those tariff guys. It's like building a HUGE ship just to find the All Blue even if it means spending all our treasure!

RSI? More Like RUM SPILL!

They use this thing called 'RSI' to figure out who's too full and who's still hungry. If it's above 70 it means they ate too much and are gonna be sick! If it's below 30 they need more meat! Microsoft is one of those that are apparently too full but these analyst guys think it can still grow (eat more!). Sounds like Zoro trying to drink more sake even when he's passed out!

Palantir Tumbles?! Like Luffy Falling Off the Thousand Sunny!

This Palantir guy is apparently soaring like me flying with my Devil Fruit powers! But these same analyst guys think it's gonna fall! Shishishi! It's like when I get launched out of the Thousand Sunny by a surprise wave! Ouch! They say some companies like Netflix and VeriSign have 'raced ahead'. Sounds like a race to see who gets the most meat on the table first!

UnitedHealth Group – More Like United UNHEALTHY!

Then there are the 'oversold' ones like UnitedHealth Group and Church & Dwight. Sounds boring! These guys are down in the dumps because of health costs. Like when I get poisoned by Magellan! Makes you wish you had Chopper around doesn't it?

So What Does it All MEAN?! Meat or No Meat?

Honestly I don't know all this 'stock' mumbo jumbo. But it sounds like some folks are gonna get a lot of meat and some are gonna go hungry. Me? I'm just gonna keep sailing keep fighting and keep eating! If these stocks want to catch up they gotta get stronger! Shishishi! Just remember what Rayleigh said: 'Doubt is a waste of time.'