SHISHISHI! Bank of America Changed Their Mind Faster Than I Can Eat Meat!

Meat Today Gone Tomorrow! BofA's Flip Flop!

Oi guys! Listen to this! Bank of America some fancy pants folks who move money around like Nami with treasure they changed their mind about this 'Progressive' thing. They were all like 'Nah it's okay,' but then they saw something shiny and yelled 'MEAT! I mean BUY!' Shishishi! Three weeks can you believe it? That's shorter than it takes Zoro to get lost!

18% Upside? That's Enough to Make Sanji Drool!

This Joshua Shanker guy he's saying this 'Progressive' thing could jump up 18%! That's like finding a whole island made of MEAT! Sanji would go nuts! He says it's a safe bet too safer than me sitting still during a party. Which you know is saying something!

S&P 500? Sounds Like a New Island to Explore!

Apparently this 'Progressive' ship wasn't sailing as fast as the others in this 'S&P 500' place. They were 8% behind! But this Shanker guy thinks they went too far! It's like when Usopp thinks a sea king is way bigger than it really is. Shishishi! Maybe they just need a good Gum Gum Rocket!

Best Operator? Sounds Like Zoro After a Nap!

This 'Progressive' thing is good at what they do like Zoro with a sword after a nap or Nami finding treasure or Sanji not simping okay maybe not that one Shishishi. They keep getting more and more customers and getting better at it. Like me getting closer to becoming King of the Pirates!

March Like a Lion! (Or Luffy Eating Meat)

They had the best March EVER! I bet it was like a never ending buffet of meat for me! They are making money faster than I can eat meat off the bone! Shishishi! Good for them! They are like my crew making their dreams come true!

A Party at the New York Stock Exchange? MEAT!

There's this party thing at the New York Stock Exchange with these 'CNBC Pro' people. They're gonna talk about money stuff. It sounds boring…unless they have MEAT! Maybe I should sneak in and cause some trouble... I mean 'help' them understand the importance of adventure! Shishishi!