Apple Stock Jumps Back Like Gear Fourth! Did Someone Say Meat!?

Gomu Gomu No… Rebound!

Oi everyone! Luffy here reporting LIVE from... well wherever meat is being cooked! But I heard some scuttlebutt about 'Apple' doing a 'Gomu Gomu no' REBOUND! Apparently they were down for the count like when I'm starving and can't fight! But then BAM! They bounced back harder than I do after a good nap. They were losing for four days straight which is like being stuck on a boring island with no treasure. But get this they were able to steal the top spot again just like when I steal meat from Sanji!

Microsoft?! More Like Mush y soft!

So I hear this 'Microsoft' thing tried to steal Apple's crown like Buggy trying to steal my treasure! Sanji said they were the 'most valuable company' for a hot minute. HA! That's like saying Usopp is the bravest warrior! It didn't last. Apple's back on top baby! They even made $774 billion disappear...probably turned it into candy. I wish I could do that!

Trade Wars? Sounds Like a Buffet!

Apparently there's some kinda 'trade war' going on. China and the EU are throwing 'tariffs' around like Zoro throws sake barrels at people. It's supposed to be bad for business like having Nami mad at you for eating all the food. But even with all that the 'technology' guys are still bouncing around. They're like me after eating a HUGE plate of meat...unstoppable! So I guess even they have a hard time winning against the rubber man!

Magnificent Seven? More Like Magnificent Snack!

Last week these 'Magnificent Seven' lost a whopping $1.8 trillion! That's enough to buy... ALL THE MEAT IN THE WORLD! They were down in the dumps like when I can't find my hat but don't you worry just keep eating like there is no tommorow! Shishishi!

Tesla's Electric Shock!

This 'Tesla' thing jumped almost 3%! It's usually slower than a snail but then goes fast again. Maybe Nami is riding it! HAHA! Still it’s like they're running on Sanji's love... sometimes supercharged sometimes fizzling out like a bad firework!

Semiconductors? More Like Semi Delicious!

And these 'Semiconductor' fellas are jumping around too! People were worried about them getting squished by 'tariffs,' like trying to eat a devil fruit without knowing what it does. But they're still kicking! They're climbing higher than I do when I see a giant monster I want to punch! Remember kids you should train and eat meat so you can kick ass!