Trump's Tariffs Trigger Market Mayhem! Can Your Portfolio Survive?

Raiders of the Lost Gains!

Honestly sometimes I feel like I'm raiding a tomb except instead of priceless artifacts I'm trying to salvage some semblance of profit from this economic chaos! Trump's tariff tantrums have the markets doing the tango and not the romantic kind. We've had wild swings rallies that fizzle faster than a bad torch and enough uncertainty to make even a seasoned tomb raider like myself a bit queasy. 'I'm not afraid of anything' I always say but I didn't anticipate the economy doing a backflip!

Exits and Explosions!

We pulled the ripcord on a few positions lately. Nextracker was jettisoned – it had a good run but I always say 'The greatest treasures are guarded by the deadliest traps.' In this case the trap was overvaluation. Alphabet got the boot thanks to AI concerns machines should be helping humans not eating their lunch! And GE Healthcare? Tariffs hit them harder than a boulder trap in a forgotten temple. 'We all make choices. But in the end our choices make us.' And my choice was to keep the portfolio alive.

Winners' Circle (or the Slightly Less Crumbled Pedestal)

Not all is doom and gloom darling! CrowdStrike is soaring thanks to bargain hunters and Wall Street whispers. TJX is making a killing off of those tariff induced supply chain snags – retailers panic TJX swoops in for affordable merchandise. Clever girl. And Costco? Turns out people love a good bulk bargain in times of economic stress. 'Sometimes it is not the destination but the journey that matters.' At least they are getting a good deal on toilet paper for the journey.

Losers' Lament (or the Pit of Despair)

DuPont is getting hammered by the trade war with their China operations feeling the squeeze. Bristol Myers is dealing with pharmaceutical tariff threats and some bad drug trial news yikes. And Starbucks? Turns out people might skip that latte when the economy starts to look like a booby trapped dungeon. 'There are things that time cannot fade. Dreams that death cannot steal.' Let's hope this Starbucks stock isn't one of them.

The Trump Card (and Not the Winning Kind)

The market's mood swings are directly correlated to the latest pronouncements from the White House. One day tariffs are on the next day they're off then maybe they're on again with a slight twist! It's enough to give anyone a headache and it is definitely impacting consumer discretionary and material businesses. I swear trying to predict the stock market in this climate is harder than disarming a pressure plate trap in the dark. 'It seems I underestimated you. I'm sorry.'

What's Next? Time to Adapt Darling!

My advice? Buckle up dearies! We're in for a bumpy ride. Diversify stay nimble and always be ready to adapt. After all that's what I do best. 'No I don't have a problem with commitment... I commit myself to the task at hand.' And right now that task is navigating this financial labyrinth and finding some treasure along the way! Onwards and upwards my friends!