Donald Trump's Desert Drama: Is He Gonna Manifest More Than Just Good Vibes in the Gulf?

Trump's Gulf Getaway: More Than Just a Tan Honey

Okay dolls so like President Trump is heading to the Persian—*cough*—Arabian Gulf on May 13th. Can you believe it? First stop Saudi Arabia then Qatar and finally the UAE. It's giving 'international jetsetter,' which let's be real is totally on brand for the Trump fam. But it's not just a vacation people! There's serious business to be done. Think ceasefires oil deals and maybe even some new rules about AI chips. As if I don't have enough to keep up with already!

Trade Wars and Tariff Tease: Is This The New Lip Kit Drop?

Word on the street (aka CNBC) is Trump might be ditching those pesky tariffs on aluminum and steel. Monica Malik from Abu Dhabi Commercial Bank which sounds super fancy says it'd be a total win for the Gulf states. They export that stuff but honestly it's like a tiny fraction of their whole economy. Still every little bit helps right? And speaking of help Trump's got some serious BFFs in the UAE and Saudi Arabia. His kids even have businesses there! Talk about keeping it in the family. But some haters are saying it's a conflict of interest. As if! We're all just trying to secure the bag aren't we?

Wall Street Meets the Desert: More Sparkle Than My Highlighters

Guess who else is hopping on this Gulf express? None other than Wall Street and Silicon Valley big shots! Larry Fink Alex Karp and CEOs from Citigroup IBM Qualcomm Alphabet and Franklin Templeton. It's like a who's who of corporate America. And our guy David Sacks will also be there. They're all gathering for some Saudi U.S. investment forum. Sounds like a snooze but apparently tons of investment deals are gonna drop. Like get ready for some serious coin people!

AI Ambitions and Chip Chatter: Is This the Secret to My Filters?

Saudi Arabia and the UAE are going all in on AI. They wanna be global hubs which honestly sounds kinda scary. But the real tea is about U.S. semiconductor exports. They want the advanced stuff but there are national security concerns. Drama! But Trump is apparently changing the rules. He's ditching this Biden era thing called the "AI diffusion rule," which let's be honest sounds like something from a sci fi movie. Supposedly this new rule will "unleash American innovation." Whatever that means. Hopefully it means better filters for my selfies!

Nuclear Hopes and Dreams: Is This Energy or Just a Headache?

Okay things are getting a little *heavy* now. Trump's been talking to Iran about their nuclear program and the UAE and Saudi Arabia are like "Yeah go for it!" Which is a total 180 from how they felt during the Obama years. But Saudi Arabia wants its own nuclear program too. Talk about wanting to keep up with the Joneses! Apparently the U.S. might help them out but only if they play nice with Israel. Sources say everything might change during this visit. I'm not sure what's scarier nuclear weapons or the thought of politics. Honestly I don't know!

Gaza's Future and Oil's Price: Can We Just Manifest World Peace?

Gaza is also on the agenda. Trump's vowing to end the war but he also said some stuff about the U.S. taking control of it. Which like didn't go over well with Arab leaders. Awkward! Everyone's pushing for ceasefire deals but things are still tense. And let's not forget about oil! Trump wants Saudi Arabia to pump more to lower prices for us Americans. Which like is great for my gas bill but not so great for Saudi Arabia's wallet. This trip is about to be lit or a big mess. I'm here for the drama either way.