Boy! Soccer Scores Big in the U.S. - Is This the Beautiful Game or Just Another Foe to Crush?

Another Sport Rises? Preposterous!

Hmph. They speak of soccer's ascent in this...United States. Thirty years after its pathetic launch this 'Major League Soccer' sees a surge. Is this truly worthy of my attention? Bah! Football basketball baseball – these are the arenas of warriors where strength and strategy clash. But this soccer...it smells of desperation. Like a Spartan infant left out in the cold. "Boy! Explain this 'soccer' to me again."

Golden Showers of Coin

Sponsorships bloom they say. Like Hydra heads new endorsements sprout with each passing match. Michelob Ultra Adidas...fools! Do they not know that fleeting glory is but a whisper in the winds of time? Yet even I Kratos cannot deny the power of coin. It buys ships weapons and the silence of lesser gods. The 2026 World Cup looms...a stage for these mortals to chase their insignificant dreams.

Messi Mania: A God Among… Players?

This 'Messi'… a name that echoes even in the halls of Midgard. They claim his arrival has ignited the flames of soccer fandom. Hmph. A single mortal elevates an entire league? Reminds me of a certain Spartan I once knew. But can one player truly change the destiny of a sport? Or is this merely a temporary distraction like a shiny bauble to amuse the masses before the real battles begin? Perhaps he can teach Atreus a thing or two about kicking… something other than Draugr skulls of course.

Advertisers Assemble!

The scent of desperation hangs heavy in the air. Advertisers like vultures circle the carcass of dwindling viewership. They flock to live sports these last bastions of attention. And soccer with its youthful diverse followers becomes a tempting prize. Even in times of economic hardship these fools gamble on fleeting moments of glory. "Show me your war face!"... I suspect many of these marketers lack one.

Stadiums Named After… Tickets?

Sports Illustrated Tickets now owns a stadium name. The absurdity! Are the realms truly descending into chaos? But I digress. The beverage company Michelob Ultra invests in ‘passion points’. How can they expect to win when they fight with passion points instead of blades? Perhaps it’s time I invest in a brewery… or maybe I’ll just stick to mead.

World Cup: A Mortal's Hope

2026. The World Cup descends upon this land. They speak of a golden era a chance to solidify soccer's place in the American heart. But I have seen golden eras crumble to dust. Will this be any different? I care not. My path is one of vengeance not fleeting trends. But if this 'soccer' can bring even a moment of peace to this troubled world then perhaps... perhaps it is not entirely worthless. Still… "Do not be sorry be better!" Or get off the field.