Boy, Pour Me Some Coffee: Starbucks' Turnaround a Chance for Investors, Says Fortune Teller Tengler

Another Kingdom Falls... Then Gets Back Up?

Hmph. Starbucks. Like Olympus it has stumbled. Nancy Tengler a so called 'CEO and CIO' – titles as long as the beards of those dwarves – speaks of a turnaround. It seems the coffee is weak sales are down. But she sees 'opportunity.' Like a Hydra head one problem is chopped off and another sprouts. Foolish optimism perhaps but even I have clawed my way back from the depths of Hades... twice. Maybe this... 'Starbucks' can do the same. Boy fetch me a black coffee no sugar. This article is giving me a headache.

Urgency: A Weapon as Sharp as the Blade of Chaos?

This 'Cathy Smith,' a Nordstrom refugee brings 'urgency.' Is that like the rage that fueled my battles? Unlikely. But this urgency seems to be helping and they are investing in labor. Tengler claims it is a weak spot of the company. Hmm perhaps there is something to this. But waiting... that requires the patience of a Spartan... something I have never possessed. But perhaps YOU possess this patience because you are getting paid to wait. And that is why this investment is a good one.

Nvidia: The AI God Among Mortals?

Nvidia. They are in the 'sweet spot' of this 'artificial intelligence boom.' Another realm of gods and monsters it seems. Tengler advises buying more when the market is weak. I once advised caution. Look how THAT turned out. Still she seems confident they are the 'go to chip provider.' Perhaps they are like Hephaestus forging the tools of this new age. But will their creations bring only progress or will they unleash a new form of chaos? Hmm...

Trump's Tariff Tantrums and Chip Shortages: Echoes of the Past?

This Trump demands 'export licenses' and Nvidia will take a '5.5 billion write down.' This sounds like the scheming of the gods all over again. They always seek to control to manipulate. But Nvidia will survive. They are strong. Hopefully. Or their fall will become a lesson for everyone. To not be like the Gods.

EQT: A River of Natural Gas Flowing with Riches?

EQT. An energy company based in a place called Pittsburgh. They promise to give 60% of their free cash to shareholders. Now THAT is a reward worthy of a warrior. Tengler sees 'tailwinds' behind natural gas prices. I see only the winds of fate ever shifting ever cruel. But if this company is truly generating free cash it is not the worst investment one can make.

The Prophecy: Invest... or Suffer the Consequences!

So Tengler makes her pronouncements. Starbucks will rise again Nvidia will dominate and EQT will enrich its followers. Whether she is a true oracle or just another charlatan remains to be seen. But remember this mortal: 'The gods do not offer salvation. They offer oblivion.' Choose wisely where you place your faith... and your coin.