Boy, Oh Boy! Ive and OpenAI Forge Unholy Alliance: A Spartan's Take

From Cupertino to Chaos

Hmph. Jony Ive once the golden child of Apple now aligns himself with OpenAI. Remember this mortals: allegiances shift like the sands of the desert. He seeks to forge a new generation of AI hardware. *Scoffs* Another betrayal. He thinks he will create something better? Fool! I have seen gods fall and even they cannot escape their fates. What makes him think his trinkets will fare any better?

The Ghost of iPhones Yet to Come

Even the executives at Apple tremble at the thought of AI hardware supplanting their precious iPhones. Eddy Cue speaks of such madness predicting the iPhone's demise within a decade. 'Crazy as that sounds,' he says. Indeed! Such weakness disgusts me. They should not fear change but crush it like I crushed the gods of Olympus! But no they delay Siri's upgrades. They allow OpenAI's ChatGPT to handle what their 'Apple Intelligence' cannot. Pitiful.

Apples and Ashes: A Guru's Betrayal

Now this Ive this so called guru joins forces with the fastest growing entity in Silicon Valley. He seeks to build devices that will threaten Apple's dominance. As he proclaims 'We are literally on the brink of a new generation of technology.' *Growls* Such arrogance! He believes he can create something truly new? He should remember that even the most brilliant creations crumble to dust in time.

LoveFrom to...LoveWhat?

He continues to lead his design firm LoveFrom while simultaneously injecting Apple veterans into OpenAI. Scott Cannon Tang Tan Evans Hankey...all defectors from the House of Apple. They think they can create something worthwhile? They are but pawns in a larger game much like the mortals I once manipulated in my own quests for vengeance. Remember boys you can't spell traitor without 'AI'!

Failed Experiments and Foolish Pins

Many have tried and failed to create AI consumer hardware. Humane with their foolish pin and Rabbit R1 with its pathetic gadgetry. Ive calls them 'bad products.' I concur! Such weakness is an insult to the very idea of creation. If you cannot forge something truly powerful something that inspires fear and awe then do not bother at all. Their blood must be spilled!... I mean their ideas should be scrapped.

Smartglasses and Empty Promises

Meta's Ray Ban smart glasses have found some success and Google continues to tinker with its own AI models. They seek to integrate these technologies into every facet of your miserable existence. But these are mere distractions. Empty promises of a better tomorrow. Remember mortals: true power comes not from trinkets but from the strength within. And maybe a really really big axe. Or two.