Real ID Apocalypse Now! Are You Ready to Fly?

They Drew First Blood... But I'm Not Gonna Fly!

Alright listen up. The Feds they're saying this Real ID thing is for real this time. May 7th they drop the hammer. No Real ID no fly. Passport or some fancy card might work but you better have something. This ain't no game kid. They think they can control us with their IDs and regulations? 'Nothing is over!' But I'll figure out a way I always do.

81 Percent? That's a Waste of Good Men!

TSA says 81% of you sheep already have this Real ID crap. Figures. But what about the rest of us? The ones who don't like being told what to do? They're telling you to make appointments. 'Make your appointments now as quick as possible,' some suit says. Sounds like a trap to me. But don't worry I got plans. I always have a plan B and C and D...

Signs Signs Everywhere Are Signs (That They're Messing With Us)!

Years of signs they say. Pushed back deadlines. Now they're handing out flyers like they're doing us a favor. Frontier Airlines even has a banner. They want you to think they're being helpful. But I know better. 'They were trying to push us out of a place we didn't want to leave.' This Real ID is just another way to control you to make you feel like you need their permission to live your life.

Real ID: Brought to You By the Folks Who Brought You 9/11!

Oh so this whole thing is because of 9/11? Hijackers using fake IDs? That was a long time ago! Now they want to track everyone. In 2005 they passed this Real ID Act. Supposed to start in 2008. Always pushing always taking. 'Live for nothing or die for something.' Me I'm still deciding.

Gold Star? Black Star? Yellow Bear? Sounds Like a Bad Circus!

They got these cards with stars and bears on them. Like some kind of prize. But if you don't have it they treat you like dirt. 'If the card does not have one of these markings it is not REAL ID compliant.' Well I got news for them. My ID is my face my experience my freedom. And they can't take that away from me.

Three Hours Early? They're Outta Their Minds!

TSA says show up three hours early if you don't have this Real ID. Three hours! What am I supposed to do knit a sweater? They want to make it so miserable you just give in. 'Identity verification is a lynchpin in security.' Lynchpin? Sounds like something they use to hang people. But I'm not gonna hang. I'm gonna fight. This is my war now.