No Man Left Behind... Your Wallet: Rambo's Guide to Dividend Stocks!

They Drew First Blood... But We Got Dividends!

Alright listen up! The world's gone crazy. Trade wars conflicts... it's a jungle out there. But fear not because Rambo's here to guide you through the financial battlefield. We're talking dividend stocks – the kind that keep paying even when the market's trying to bury you alive. Seems Wall Street's got some 'experts' who think they know what's up. We'll see about that.

Verizon: Can You Hear Me Now? Good Buy This Stock!

First up we got Verizon (VZ). They're slingin' out a quarterly dividend of $0.6775 per share. That's a 6.3% yield! Some suit named Michael Rollins is all fired up about their broadband plans. He says they wanna double their 'converged wireless subscriptions.' Sounds like a load of corporate mumbo jumbo to me. But here's the kicker: he says Verizon's gonna lose some customers this quarter. But don't sweat it! Rollins still thinks they're a 'buy' with a target of $48. Even the TipRanks AI is givin' it a 'buy' rating with a 14.3% upside. Maybe these guys ain't so dumb after all. Time to reload.

Restaurant Brands: More Like Restaurant 'Brings' International Dividends!

Next on the menu: Restaurant Brands International (QSR). We're talkin' Burger King and Tim Hortons people! Quarterly dividend of 62 cents. Not bad. Some other suit named David Palmer thinks they can keep growin' their profits. Says they're cheap compared to McDonald's. He's calling for an $86 price target. You know what that means? More burgers more coffee and more money in your pocket. This ain't your daddy's war but it is your daddy's burger joint.

EOG Resources: Drill Baby Drill... For Dividends!

And finally EOG Resources (EOG). These guys dig up oil and gas. They just bought some other company for $5.6 billion! They're upping their dividend by 5% to $1.02 per share. Another suit Scott Hanold is all about this deal. He says it 'makes sense.' I don't know about sense but I know money. Hanold thinks this stock's a buy with a $145 target. Plus TipRanks AI is in agreement with a buy rating. Looks like these guys are sitting on something big.

Living Off The Land... Or The Stock Market

So there you have it. Three stocks that even a jungle fighter can understand. Verizon Restaurant Brands and EOG Resources. Don't let the suits and ties scare you. Do your homework and remember: 'To survive a war you gotta become war.' Now go out there and make some money! And if things get hairy you know who to call.

Nothing Is Over! (Except Maybe Your Financial Worries)

Remember this ain't a game. It's about survival. 'Live for nothing or die for something.' Choose wisely. And don't forget to keep your powder dry and your investments diversified. Rambo out!