S&P 500 Roars Back! Time to Unleash Some Chaos on GOOG, Says Jinx!

Market's Back? Where's the Kaboom?

So the S&P 500 is back from its little nap huh? Rose 16%? Big whoop. It's like Fishbones trying to catch a minnow – all that effort for a tiny reward! But fine fine apparently the 'Magnificent Seven' (more like the 'Boring Seven') are leading the charge and Alphabet or GOOG if you’re into acronyms is showing some 'momentum'. Momentum? Sounds like a good excuse to rev up Pow Pow and cause some real momentum!

Shiny Lines and Wiggle Graphs: Jinx's Version

This guy Nishant Pant is talking about 'technical indicators' like MACD and EMAs. Sounds like a bunch of fancy words to distract from the fact that he’s probably just guessing! He says the MACD line is above the signal line. Oh my god who cares? What does it even mean?. And the EMAs? Apparently these lines are dancing a jig of trendiness with the 8 EMA crossing the 21 EMA. Ooh exciting isn’t it? But hey at least he’s admitting that this whole thing is just a fancy guessing game. As for me I prefer the good old fashioned method of throwing a dart at a board. It has the same success rate!

Trend Shifts? More Like Trend Mishaps!

Pant says these EMA crossovers are signaling a 'new bullish trend.' Bullish bearish I don't care trends come and go. Like my attention span! He says this shows the 'sharp correction' is in the rearview mirror. Rearview mirror? I only look forward toward the next explosion! Still he might be right about one thing even a broken clock is right twice a day right?

The GOOG Gamble: Call Me Maybe... NOT!

Now comes the 'trade setup.' This guy wants to buy a $165 call and sell a $170 call on GOOG expiring June 6. Sounds like a lot of work for...wait for it...a potential 100% return. 100%? I can get a better return from looting a bank... I mean uh never mind! And this allows him to 'participate in the upside potential while keeping both risk and reward tightly controlled.' Tightly controlled? Where's the fun in that? I prefer my risks explosively uncontrolled thank you very much!

The Fine Print: Blah Blah Boring!

Alright alright Panty pants here is laying out his exact strategy: Buy $165 call sell $170 call cost $250 potential profit $250. So much math! Ugh. And then he plugs his book and website. Seriously? Can we get back to explosions now? He's probably just trying to get you to buy his stuff. Don't fall for it! Unless you’re into boring books about market trends. Then by all means waste your money.

Disclaimer Schmismaker! Do What Jinx Does!

Oh and there's a disclaimer. Nishant Pant has this GOOG spread himself. Surprise surprise. And CNBC says his opinions are his own and not theirs. So basically don't blame them if you lose your shirt. All this is for 'informational purposes only' and not 'financial advice'. Well duh! I'm Jinx not a financial advisor! If you want advice ask Vi... actually never mind don't ask Vi. Just do what Jinx does: cause chaos and see what happens! It's way more fun I promise. And remember 'Rules are made to be broken... like buildings!'