Netflix's Ad Tier Blows Up! More Eyeballs Than a Fishbone Factory!

Pow Pow! Netflix Numbers Go BOOM!

Alright you glorious maniacs! Jinx here ready to slap some chaos on this so called 'news.' Netflix those screen staring addicts are bragging about their cheapo ad supported tier. Apparently like 94 MILLION of you are watching ads now! That’s like a bazillion eyeballs! More than you find in a fishbone factory! They say it's 'monthly active users' or whatever but I call it 'monthly captive audience!'. Is there anything more addictive than watching explosions? I guess commercials are close enough.

Seven Ninety Nine? More Like Seven Ninety NINETY NINE!

Seven ninety nine is what it costs... so they say... for ad stuffed entertainment! They call it a 'steep discount' compared to the ad free version which is like a gazillion dollars! I mean are they serious? I bet they charge extra for color too! It is still something that people pay for. Seriously people will pay for anything! I bet I could sell Fishbones for a gazillion dollars each! The question is who would I blow up first?

Shiny Ads? More Like Shiny Distractions!

Some corporate drone named Amy Reinhard (who I'm sure is just DYING to be blown up) is yakking about how people 'pay attention' to the ads! 'Even more impressive members pay as much attention to mid roll ads as they do to the shows and movies themselves.' Yeah right! Maybe it is because all the movies and shows are lame! I bet I could make better movies while juggling grenades and drawing graffiti!

Zoomers Love Ads? The End is Nigh!

The real kicker? Netflix says they got more of those 18 to 34 year old zoomie doomers watching their stuff than any old TV channel. Seriously? Are people this bored? I guess if I was in that age range I would rather blow something up rob a bank or just watch a good explosion to pass the time! Are they really watching ads? What is this world coming to?

Chaos is Profitable? Who Knew!

So there you have it. Netflix figured out how to get you to PAY to watch ADS. The whole thing is bonkers! I'd rather blow up a bridge. Or maybe that Amy Reinhard lady. Decisions decisions! I sure know I would never watch them! Seriously I am out this is getting boring. Lets go blow something up!

Rules are meant to be broken

I can't believe they want me to conform to the rules! The heck with that! Time for some real chaos!